Thursday, December 6, 2007

Stranger Danger!

Dear Readers:

Ahhh...internet access! Our modem crapped out at home, so I was forced to spend a full 24 hours without internet access and nearly died of it. But now I am abusing internet privileges at work so that I can bring you this SPECIAL REPORT:

The Dresden Dolls' Amanda Palmer has clearly never seen Wolf Creek.

I recently received this email from the Dresden Dolls' mailing list:

To our dear dear friends in Melbourne:
Fuck hotels.
Would you like to house some starving artists for ten days? December 5-15.
Let us know!
It's going to be me + 4 members of The Danger Ensemble and we will give you free merch and tickets to the Spiegeltent up the wazoo and turn your home into an art palace. Well, that's a lie. We'll mostly be just sleeping there.
We need relatively comfy accommodations for 5 bodies.
We don't mind sharing beds, but you'd need at least 3 beds.

Wireless and tea kettle a wicked plus. We like cats. We like dogs.

We're willing to get creative.
If you know of anybody leaving town, or with a space in general that can be made hospitable for 10 days, let us know. Even more amazing would be if the space is large enough to move around and rehearse and film in. We like getting jiggy and filming.
Where? Um. The nearer to the venue the better.
The tent is at: The Arts Centre Forecourt, 100 St Kilda Rd, Melbourne. Right downtown.
Walking distance would make us so happy, but if we need to drive to the gigs, we have a van.


Um, what? Amanda, you don't know these people! What if they're serial killers or crazed fans or have a roach infestation that you don't know about until they're crawling all over you in your sleep? You can afford a hotel. Or a hostel, even. Oh wait, maybe that's not such a good idea either.

Have you told your mom about this plan? I can't imagine she would approve.

In the meantime, if certain male rock stars need a place to stay while on tour, I would happily offer up my humble abode. Iris can attest that my couches are the most comfy in the Midwest. Just send me an email at tragicmaise@yahoo.com along with a resume and headshot. Must like dogs.

3 comments:

Iris said...

Well at least they have their own van if necessary and they're not hitchhiking their way to the show. Maybe you should invite them to your place to stay so I can actually see one of their shows. Unlike the last time I went to see them where they were the opening act and the the act.

And if you're trying to catch a certain someone's attention then I think in your Rock n' Roll Bed n' Breakfast ad you should play it up more that it's a greyhound friendly environment.

Danny Angel said...

One time when my band went on a little west coast tour we played in Nevada and after the show this woman asked us if we wanted to stay at her place. Her daughter, if I recall correctly, had been a stripper and she had a huge shrine to her daughter in her house, complete with her stripper boa, etc. Also - I think her daughter had died at 16 or 17... so... Our host also had branded herself TR (on her arm) like from that movie Suburbia (the one from 1984). In fact a lot of the people that were at our show had done the same thing. Anyway our bass player kind of freaked out and decided to sleep in the van but we (me and air guitar Craig) slept inside and in the morning she made us pancakes from scratch. Good times.

maise said...

Dan, who *wouldn't* want to make pancakes for you and Hot Lixx?