Thursday, March 27, 2008

NIN's Ghosts III, Wherein JR Speaks the Truth

Okay, so Iris is all whining that Maise has deserted this place and with a whole new peachy keen NIN record in four parts that need IMMEDIATE ATTENTION and blah, blah, blah, and I’ve been railroaded into taking some time out of my already crazy busy schedule to do a review of the third movement of NIN’s Ghosts. So, as I routinely say to my boss, There ARE 24 hours in a day (why not use ‘em all?), and I set out to give it a listen and see what’s what. I’m even giving my thoughts in real time, so this review is also innovative.

This had better be good.

Reznor has something of a history of disappointing me lately.

Ghosts III – 19

  • First of all, I’m not digging on the numbering system. I guess when you’ve got to turn something out as quickly as this, you don’t have time to: A. Come up with lyrics; B. Come up with song titles; C. Wait for the packaging ideas to come to you, so you just release it real cheap as a download.
  • Soundtracky.
  • Is this song ever going to get off the ground? I haven’t got all day. I can’t sit around and paint pictures with my mind AND make videos for this stuff for you, Trent. I already have a job. What happened to the artist being responsible for the art?

Ghosts III – 20

  • I guess it’s cool that Reznor is such a fan of recycling that it includes not just plastics and newspapers, but past songs of his. “Closer”, anyone?
  • This song is, like, begging for lyrics. Reznor is neglecting his own material.
  • Feels like a long intro to something else.
  • I like what it morphs into in the second half; more organic, less of the ball-less industrial-lite of the first half.
  • The outro with piano sounds a lot like the softer parts of [With Teeth]. He must be sucking Al Gore’s dick with all of this recycling going on.

Ghosts III – 21

  • Does nothing for me. Other than to make me think of Fields Of Gaffney’s “Xylophone.” So I guess that means he’s recycling other people’s stuff, too.

Ghosts III – 22

  • Is that a didgeridoo?
  • Trent does lite-jazz!
  • I like the drum sound, though the actual drum riff sounds, shall we say, “familiar.”

Ghosts III – 23

  • Finally, something that I can sink my teeth into, and that references NIN’s back catalog without sounding mired in it.
  • Love the distortion. Finally.
  • Okay, two thirds of the way through this song, and where is this going? Anywhere?

Ghosts III – 24

  • Okay, something else that is starting out promising.
  • Totally hearing the Human League influence in the keyboards.
  • I think club DJs could get a lot of mileage out of this one.

Ghosts III – 25

  • Tedious.
Ghosts III – 26
  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ghosts III – 27

  • zzzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzz….huh?….oh, nothing…….zzzzzzzzzz
  • Well, part the underlying guitar line is reminiscent of Cheech & Chong’s “Earache My Eye”—can’t wait for that lawsuit!

I guess I would like listening to this stuff while doing yoga, or going for a walk or something. Except that I hate walking, and haven’t done a single yoga pose in three years.

This sounds, overall, like nothing more than more thought out than average demos, which seems to prove my point that this is why TR chose to release it as a download. It’s expensive to release a multi-disc “work” (and believe me, ladies and germs, I’m using the term “work” loosely), and there would probably be a backlash from people who felt ripped off. And well they should. But if you get a few dozen songs for five bucks, that makes it a little harder to complain.

In all honesty people, I don’t want it to be the case, but I think Trent is running out of ideas. Every song on here either sounds like something that he has already done or something that someone else has done. I’m not stupid enough to not realize that there aren’t really any original thoughts left in music, and it’s all about how people interpret their influences, but this is kinda like stealing Aunt Linda’s Famous Apple Pie recipe and passing it off as your own, just charging $1.50 a slice instead of $4.25. Just cause it’s a bargain and not total crap doesn’t make it good.

You know, if I wanted to carry the apple pie analogy a little further, this is not only like stealing the recipe and trying to pass it off as your own (…cough…Rachel Ray…ahem…cough…), it’s like also saying, “Well, you know, I thought maybe what you apple pie fans should do is go out and make your own ice cream to go on top of this pie. You can have a slice now, and eat it without anything on top of it, OR you can take the slice—did I mention it’s only $1.50 and that you can get it right through your computer?—and set it aside while you go to the store and get the cream, vanilla and rock salt, churn the ice cream, wait for it to set up, then scoop it out yourself and put it next to the pie I made. In fact, I’m going to have an ice cream making contest to see who comes up with the most interesting ice cream to go alongside my pie. So get churnin’!”

Yeah, it’s kind of A LOT like that.

Thanks for nothing, Reznor.

I’m sticking with GAFFNEY.

About the author: JR is known by many as the “hardest working woman in (non-profit) show biz,” a title that—along with herself—she takes very seriously. You can read more about her exploits and preferences at JR.”


Iris said...

I posted this for the sake of "honest opinion" but this is total bullshit JR. I'm so flipping pissed at you right now! I OFFERED a guest post to you because I was feeling CHARITABLE and SO WERE YOU since I had listened to your precious Gaff. Which by the way your "Stuff I Like Song O'The Day"...well you want to know what "God Told Me"? God told me to turn off the Gaff. That's right. Suck it bitch.

I can't EVEN respond to this ludicrous post right now. -BAH-

JR said...

Don't get your panties all in a wad, Iris.

All I'm saying is that ANYONE WITH EARS and AN IQ IN EXCESS OF 50 can instantly tell the superiority of this to the recycled pap that is Ghosts.

I mean, I can't help it if Eric Gaffney writes better songs than Trent Reznor. That's between the two of them, and we should stay out of it.

I don't want to get into a battle about who's better.

Let's just suffice to say...

ERIC GAFFNEY > trent reznor

JR said...

And when do I get my check?

Iris said...

It would be wise at this point to just check yo'self.

Anonymous said...

JR = fantastic record reviewer

And she's right about Eric Gaffney. He rocks hardcore.

Iris said...

You know when I pitched this idea to Maise she was all "Ehh...I'm not sure about this Iris. JR can be well...a know."

But I DEFENDED you, JR! I told Maise that you wouldn't be a problem. That we'd reached an understanding and RESPECT for one another's music. I listened to your precious bands and left respectful feedback. And I thought you could do the same.

But this? Now you've gone too far.

And fuck you too Anonymous. Or is this just JR congratulating herself? Either way, fuck you both.

Anonymous said...

Iris = jealous of JR's writing abilities and ability to see the truth

JR said...

Maise she was all "Ehh...I'm not sure about this Iris. JR can be well...a know."


You can "stop" listening to Gaffney if you want, that's fine. What you seem to be forgetting is that we all came together through WTC, which was a fan site for TRENT REZNOR. Of whom we are all fans. THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON.

Now, I don't need to pretend to like this new heaping helping of nothing in order to call myself a fan of Trent's. That's only if I want to call myself a sycophant.

And thank you, anonymous. Finally, someone is coming to their SENSES around here.

Isabel said...

You can't hurry Trent - it took me 3 listens to 'get' The Fragile and now it's my favourite album of all time. Seriously I don't think it does your blog any favours to allow such a half-arsed one-listen review to appear on it, because anyone into NIN knows it takes more than that to really get it. Honestly why don't you just invite Pitchfork Media to do a guest review after their wonderful review of the Fragile???

JR said...

Isabel, put yer money where yer mouth is.

Tell me why this is good. Seriously. Maybe I'm losing my hearing or something, and I can only hear the boring parts now.

Don't talk about the Fragile.

Talk about this.

Tell me why it's good.


Anonymous said...

How come no one is mentioning the great Apple Pie/Ice Cream analogy?

That was genius!

Annie said...

brian viglione was the drummer for 19 and 22. he was using like water bottles and trash cans as a drum set. he even blogged about it. click my name and it should take you to it.

Annie said...

because trent wouldn't eat apple pie OR ice cream. too much sugar. he prefers the protein shakes.

Annie said...

i think jr was way too harsh. i think she's trying to hide her love for trent. you know how the boys beat up girls they like. it works both ways.

me thinks, jr has a major playground crush.

ok i'm done spamming now. bye-bye

JR said...

Well, JR wouldn't kick TR out of bed for eating crackers, it's true, but she would kick him out for making a crappy record.

Right after she pulled his pig tails.

D:ANGEL said...

I don't know guys, I think JR nailed it. Honestly, I thought the first two GHOSTS section reviews were overly kind. JR was right - can anyone tell me why this is good?

The album does feel rushed and same-y to me. I meean we went from PHM/TDS/Fragile to WT and YZ now this. Its like the machine is running out of steam, big time.

Iris, I don't think you should be pissed at JR. She really nailed it. He review balances out the excuse-making reviews of the other GHOSTS.

Currently Absorbing: Celtic Frost - Into the Pandemonium AND Bathory - Blood Fire Death

Isabel said...

Well I can't comment yet as I haven't got up to the third one - I'm waiting for a new ipod to be delivered then I can listen to it in the lounge with my new Bose speakers while breastfeeding my 6 week old baby (I have a normal bog standard CD player in there see, and no CDs of Ghosts to go with it yet).
But to further my earlier point, at first I hated 4 Ghosts I as that noise at the beginning irritated me - however the more i listen to it, I love the dissonance of the track and the guitar that comes in in the middle and it's one of the best on Ghosts I, but see, I'm no reviewer which is why I don't offer to do such things.
I think a lot of the album will take some time to digest and I would never presume to review one until I had a lot more time on my hands (and I acquired the ability to review!)

JR said...

Some Points
by JR

1. DA is right. I nailed it. Points to DA.

2. Isabel, please don't subject your baby to this. Breastfeeding is supposed to be about bonding with your baby, not making them resent you.

3. Still waiting to hear FROM ANYONE with ANY kind of support for why this is good.

4. I didn't offer. I WAS ASKED.

Isabel said...

He's a 6 week old baby, he's not going to be coming up for air going, 'well this is reminiscent of Gaffney's blah blah - sorry mummy but old man Trent is past his sell-by date.'

As long as it isn't too loud for his ears, and he doesn't say fuck every 2 seconds, it's OK by me.

Of course this is the cue for everyone to go on about how Trent is losing his edge and it is music for small babies, never mind.

D:ANGEL said...

Well my thing is - if you just wanted a review to say all the reasons that GHOSTS is awesome... you should not have asked JR. Plus, it is good for this site to have some other voices, especially if no one agrees because then it gives readers something to talk about. If all it is is "Well Trent was Brilliant - AGAIN!" it gets very boring.

By the way - and I know I'm super-late to the party on this - but how awesome is The Mars Volta's "De-Loused in the Comatorium"? Like, wow, that record is great and has one of the best ass-ripping opening tracks I have ever heard (tracks 1&2 together). They make indie rock sound dangerous.

JR said...

Gaffney makes indie rock sound dangerous, if you're listening.

Anyway, DA, when the hell are we going to make the internet's most dangerous podcast happen? (And it's dangerous because we don't just roll over for Trent, bitches.)

Lastly, Isabel, I'm concerned that your baby is going to grow up with compromised musical tastes. Really. Don't do it. Get some Ace of Base or something.

JR said...

And I wish keyboards had a key for that math symbol that's an equal with a line through it, meaning "not equal to".

So instead I have to say...

JR *is not equal to* mediocrity.

JR said...

Oh, and who has notice the TV On The Radio song in the ad for something?

TV On The Radio On The TV is more like it.

Thanks for breaking such uncompromising artists, Trent! Yay! Royalties for everyone!

Anonymous said...

JR said...

anonymous = RULES!

Anonymous said...

currently absorbing: rick james super freak

she's alright!
she's alright!
that girl's alright with me
she's a super freak
super freak
super freaky, yow

maise said...

So is it still an Eric "Who the fuck am I?" Gaffney lovefest around here?

JR said...


But Maise, watch it. I will totally make your ass sleep outside if you keep it up.

Eric Gaffney = the shit.

Go here and find out what I mean.

But you know what? Keep talking about him; it's just more places for google to latch on to when people are searching.

maise said...

Well, let's not lose sight of what's REALLY important around here...


JR said...

I don't see a line of people who are dying to talk about how good Ghosts is forming anywhere around here, Maise.

Isabel said...

Why would anyone go onto a blog that has been hijacked by 2 posters who so apparently don't care for the subject of the blog in the first place?

I think the dwindling amount of different contributors to Places Parallel is directly proportional to the amount of time JR and D:Angel spend on it (since you're so keen on mathematical equations)

D:ANGEL said...

Iris and Maise know that all they need to do is say the word and I will stop posting. I hardly think my 2 previous posts constitute "hijacking" - and both of my posts were about Ghosts. By my count you have posted 4 times, Izzy, and at least two of those were concerned with breastfeeding and baby talk. Who is more on topic???

I rest my case.

D:Angel 1, Isabelle 0

I liked you, too, Isabelle. Now, wounded, I will retreat into my sweet-ass DEATH ANGEL box set that includes re-issues of the rare albums THE ULTRA-VIOLENCE and FROLIC THROUGH THE PARK.

JR said...

Isabel, the mission statement of Places Parallel is to talk about music. We're doing that...well, some of us.

Wearing These Chains was all Reznor, all the time, in theory at least.

Loosen up.

Still waiting to hear why Ghosts is any good, I don't care who it is that proves me and DA wrong.

And hijacked? Hardly.
I could probably stand to lay off the Gaffney talk just a little, it's true, but if you read carefully, you'll notice that I don't always bring it up first.

JR said...

P.S. Boo-ya!

Iris said...

I'm not sure who exactly you're taking a pot shot at here Isabel with your bitching. Maise for being sidetracked with work, me for lack of commenting/posting or for inviting JR to a guest post. You ought to remember WTC was nothing but bitching and spouting love for the Rez. I don't think what JR did or continues to do is any different than that. And we're not WTC. This site was supposed to be about all kinds of music influences or whims but still heavily tinged with NIN related material. And D:Angel knows for all the shit he gets for these random metal bands, he's still more than welcome to prattle on about them. I believe you brought up some metal bands of your own, too.

And for the record, after all my huffing and puffing about being pissed at JR for what she wrote, when I went back and listened to this section she's right on point. Ghosts III is weak sauce on its own or when compared with the rest of the album. It just doesn't hold up. But I figured why beat a dead horse.

But since you're disappointed with the number of contributors here 've got a challenge for you, Isabel. Why don't you pick up the last leg of the Ghosts review and enlighten us with why you love it/hate it/ want to bear more children by it? And don't give me that "but I've got a baby" bullshit excuse. Don't hide behind the kid. You find time to comment here. You'll find time to write something up. I mean from your perspective you can't do much worse that us, right?

Iris said...

Damn JR. You beat me by a few minutes.

JR said...

It's about fucking time:

"And for the record, after all my huffing and puffing about being pissed at JR for what she wrote, when I went back and listened to this section she's right on point."

I'm working on the Why Eric Gaffney Doesn't Deserve To Be Ignored By You post, Iris, give me time.

JR said...

I'm like magic.


Iris said...

Bitch please.

Gaffney = mediocre, at best.

JR said...


JR said...

You know who else I'm loving on right now? Jason Loewenstein.

Iris said...

Oh Jesus. Another Sebadoh band member, JR? How many of these guys are there?

JR said...


Well, three in the original lineup. Then Gaff left, and they added the weak Bob Fay. And Russ Pollard for a while, too, I think...I don't care about those years.

But, you know, you should learn more about JL. He's an interesting guy.

And you're acting like Sebadoh was some unimportant band. Wrong.

JR said...

And as much as I like JLoew, he's no Gaffney.

Iris said...

No, I'm just saying you haven't proven anything of why Sebadoh should be important to me.

Iris said...

You know which commenter I've been wondering about lately? Lavender. Are you still out there, Lav? How's your brother doing?

JR said...


Sounds like someone is asking for some fresh meat over at JR.

I guess the two awesome, early Dinosaur Jr vids that I posted weren't even for you. That's back when J Mascis was sexy-lookin'! He's still sexy, but not so much to look at. (Who am I kidding? I'd still hit it.)

Iris said...


I don't think anyone here will fight you for him, JR. That purple tracksuit jacket and the glasses are doing nothing to help him there.

What's with our genius musician boys and their inability to properly dress themselves? We all know about Trent and his black socks. And Josh Freese can't even put on pants.

JR said...

You know who's a snappy dresser? Eric Gaffney (go ahead, everyone, and hate on, but at least the man is wearing trousers and shoes, not sneakers).

I think there's a post in here somewhere, Iris. I also had a similar conversation with friends about how poorly most musicians have of the few examples of a musician aging well that I had to point to was Lou Barlow (yeah, of Sebadoh, so f'ing what). THEN: on the right, in what I call the "smack me hard" phase; NOW: three letters--Y-U-M.

JR said...

(and when I saw your "day-um," i was confused for a moment and thought you were loving on j. then i realized you weren't. your loss. he's amazing.)

Iris said...

Well as far as looks go I'll give props to Lou Barlow. He's a little easier on the eyes. But that J Mascis is not sexy...not then...not now...not ever.

JR said...

Oh, I disagree strongly, Iris. J is not hard on the eyes, though I agree he's probably never been considered conventionally "handsome." Though you might want to check out the video for their cover of "Just Like Heaven" I posted on JR...he's pretty hot in that. Or closer to what one might consider hot.

Lou, though, is totally adorable in his forties, as long as he keeps his mouth shut. He's kinda whiny.

JR said...

And the owner of the "cute" J pic said it best when she said: "...he is completely real. There is no fantasy around this fella. He is akward, unusual looking, painfully honest, cranky and extremely talented."

That's it in a nutshell. I've loved him since I was 17, as much now as ever. Sigh.

D:ANGEL said...

I don't get Gaffney or Sebadoh. I did listen to the first song thingy you did JR and it just sounded like non-descript alt noise-rock to these ears. I will admit I definitely land on the math metal side of things but I just am not sure what is to be derived from that. What am I missing?

Now for the under appreciated Bay Area thrash band of the day: HEATHEN. You can go to their website and hear both of their first two (very hard to find) albums that are avail for streaming, etc. Seriously - the song OPIATE OF THE MASSES off of VICTIMS OF DECEPTION perfectly captures the scene at the time. The singer is a little operatic for my tastes but the technical efficiency of the guitar playing is amazing! Tomorrow we will explore DEFIANCE!

Somebody tell Zeemort I read THE WASP FACTORY - that is some twisted stuff!

JR said...

I saw Zeemort in the nurse's office. I think she has cramps.

I will endeavor to explain why exactly it is that you all should be loving on Gaffney/Loewenstein/Barlow, not to mention Mascis, over at my place. I'll let you know when it's ready.

Oh, and I also hate one of my coworkers.

Iris said...

Just one of your co-workers?

JR said...

I kinda threw a fit in a meeting today. Then "punished" my boss by refusing to attend an event that we were supposed to attend together this evening.

I was, how you say? REAL mature.

It's tough, sometimes, being the favorite.

Iris said...

Hey DA. You ever hear of group called Flametal. They're from out your way. This song isn't too bad but if I like it that probably means it's not really considered metal.

D:ANGEL said...

No, that is really cool. Very metal but inventive. I like bands that are either technically great or do stuff that keeps it interesting - this one seems to do both... where did you hear of them?

Iris said...

Someone had them listed in a "Song of the Day" thread on another messageboard I read. Followed the link and thought they sounded like something you'd be into.

Isabel said...

OK - points taken, I wasn't necessarily taking issue with the review, and I do agree with JR, that I consider Ghosts to be background music, with maybe every other song being one I would put down what I was doing for and listen more intently. I'm waiting for the CDs before i can listen properly and it will take ages for them to get to the UK. I'm just wondering why a lot more people from WTC don't comment on here too (I only discovered that last year anyway) - sorry D:Angel, I do appreciate your taste in music anyway. But since I'm not offering to do a review (since I'm shit at reviewing) I'll shut up now!

JR said...

Isabel, don't sell yourself short.

Reviewing = having an opinion.

You just did that.

Go girl!

this concludes the JR Empowerment Moment

JR said...

And more people from WTC don't comment because making the leap clearly separated the wheat from the chaff.

We are ALL WHEAT around here.

Though I'll be glad when Gabriel comes back, because it gets a little tired bringing the truth/rage/opinions/snark by myself all the time. Just saying.

Isabel said...

Thanks JR (has a little glow of pride) - here's a question though, did Dierdre Keating really exist or was she Gabriel's (or somebody elses) alter ego, I could never work that out, I couldn't think anyone could be that obsessed

Iris said...

Oh no. Dierdre is real. Well real-ish. We met her on the WTC Euro vacation, although, maybe a bit more reserved version of herself.

You don't necessarily need the actual CD's to listen to Ghosts IV. Just go to our YouTube account and we have a playlist of all the songs from the album. The sound quality on the videos isn't too bad.

You should seriously have a go at it. You can email me your thoughts and we'll help fill in any gaps you're not comfortable with if it comes to that. I mean why not? You've already heard how Maise, JR, and me feel about this album so far and if I think everyone knows that if I write up the 4th segment it's going to be more reasons why I love the Rez. I'd love to get another perspective so I can compare what I'm hearing/not hearing.

So songs up for it, Isabel? I've got another concert review to do and there might be another post in the works that we can get up if you need some time.

JR don't count on Gabriel coming back until after the elections. He's willfully being held at Camp Obama for now. We might get a hateful tirade about Hillary if things don't go well at the Democratic National Convention.

JR said...

And you may get a hateful tirade about Obama AND A DISTINCT LACK OF EXPERIENCE TO LEAD THIS COUNTRY, depending how things go at the DNC.

So, you know, be prepared.

If Obama gets the nom, not only am I voting for McCain, I'M CAMPAIGNING FOR HIM.

Yeah, I said it. I went there.

Iris said...

Well this has the potential to get ugly fast so I'll just leave it at "let's see what happens in

maise said...

Next, JR tactfully tackles religion:

"Your Bible is a lie!!!"

Isabel said...

OK then, thanks - it is night time in the UK now, but I will try reviewing a few of the songs tomorrow and see how it goes. Really not holding out much hope though, when I listen to a song I feel the love (or hate) but it doesn't necessarily translate to words!

JR said...

Maise, you'd be well advised to not get me going on the "Bible".

D:ANGEL said...

or me for that matter...

Well it's best not to get me going on a lot of things

JR said...

I disagree. You're at your best when you're all wound up about something.

JR said...


Up next: The Bible.

Gimme a few minutes.

D:ANGEL said...

JR - you are playing with fire and you don't even know it.

I will sit back and watch the explosion.

JR said...

Maybe, just maybe, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING.

D:ANGEL said...

That could be.

That could very well be so.

maise said...

You know, JR, you're right. We do need a candidate with some experience. I mean, could you imagine electing someone as president who had never landed in Bosnia under sniper fire with Sheryl Crow and Sinbad in tow?

JR said...

It's so much more interesting when we speak cryptically around here.

JR said...

That's the best you got, Maise?

maise said...

What we really need is a DIVISIVE whom half of her OWN party can't stand.

JR said...

We strong women gotta stick together.

D:ANGEL said...

Well - what we need is an effective President who can deliver - whoever that is. Divisive isn't the only issue here, potential effectiveness is also a factor.

JR said...

Divisive is the name of the game, Maise. If there was one candidate that everyone could get behind, we wouldn't need to have elections. And if Obama was a big uniter, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

D:ANGEL said...

Well "uniter" "experience" "war hero" have very little to do with the reality of each candidate.

I am a Hillary guy. If she doesn't get the nom, which seems likely I will re-examine Obama and McCain on their merits. Surpisingly McCain isn't the big, bad conservative monster many think he is.

JR said...

DA is reading my mind.

In all seriousness, though, if we're going down Politics Road, can someone explain the appeal of Obama to me? I mean, even his political track record and all that aside, I just can't get into him. Like if he was a coworker's husband or something, I wouldn't be digging on him. He seems really phony.

Why is everyone so into him? Does he have you all hypnotized or something? Is it because that joke Oprah told you to like him? What gives?

maise said...

Because Hillary's "burn all bridges as long as I win" style is going to be a strong indicator of potential effectiveness.

But she's not going to get the nom. So JR, you have fun campaigning for McCain. His Supreme Court nominees thank you for signing over your uterus.

maise said...

Look, I don't have time right now to get into the merits of Barack Obama--an intelligent, good guy, reliable liberal, and an excellent senator from my state.

But you go ahead and stand by Hillary. Too bad the woman stands only for herself.

JR said...

Well, I'm not using it anyway.

JR said...

Oh, nice...there's time to slag Hill, but strangely, not time to defend your candidate. Huh.

Welcome back, Kotter. I mean, Maise. To that same old place that you laughed about.

maise said...

Well, what am I supposed to defend? He has an excellent voting record, is an honorable guy, is inspirational to a lot of people...

I know several life-long Republicans disgruntled with the GOP who are now volunteering for Obama...something they would NEVER do for Hillary. What I appreciate is the way he reaches out to independents and disaffected Republicans, whites and blacks...I'm sick of the "us vs. them" dichotomy that is mother's milk to Hillary. We've had a good 16 years of "us vs. them," and look where it's gotten us.

JR said...

Excuse me, I have to open a bottle of champagne.

90 comments! Whoo!

D:ANGEL said...

Well, don't be naive - "us vs. them" will happen with Obama or with Hillary or McCain.

Plus - what was bad under Bill Clinton - things were damn good.

Iris said...

That's what Monica said.


D:ANGEL said...

well played.

JR said...

"That's Iris, ladies and gentlemen, she'll be here all week. Try the veal!"

JR said...


Anonymous said...


D:ANGEL said...

It's funny JR, the more we spill the more I side with you.

What is everyone's beef with Hillary? She IS smart. She IS tough. And unlike the Republican primary process, the Democrat process has not been a runaway victory for Obama so why would she back off? He could step down, too. Part of the reason I like her so much is that she isn't backing off. That speaks to her toughness. At the end of the day I take a Machiavellian point of view on the Presidency: she doesn't have to be my friend or nice or virtuous, she has to be a good leader. I think she would be.

As for Obama - the race speech he gave that liberals drooled over was bullshit. If Hillary or McCain sat in a church where similar things were said, their career would be over. He has the GALL to lecture Americans about race in a pretentious speech? I'm not the one listening to a hateful, conspiracy-theory loving preacher dude... a guy you have associated with, personally even, for YEARS. As for experience, there is this NY Times article.

Don't get me wrong - I like what the guy has to say but I don't want a democrat to compromise, I want a democrat to work for my vision of America. Otherwise - what is the point of voting for him/her? And "change" is great but how about some specifics? And enough with the "politics as usual" line. It's a cop-out. I fear McCain is going to destroy him in debates. I mean Obama has done drugs, has a muslim tie in his background, attends a church with a preacher who seemingly believes some stuff that middle America won't buy... Democrats played nice with this info, Republicans won't.

I'm with you, JR, he feels like a phony.

Maybe I am wrong, and I hope I am (and will gladly say I am if he ends up being the second coming) because he will probably be the next prez, but he sounds a lot like Carter: noble and naive (and a one-term failure).

That being said, he will probably still get my vote, ha.

JR said...

If Obama gets the nom (come on superdelegates, I'm counting on you), there is no way that he'll win the election.

Just being real here--America, middle America, the flyover states (don't go getting all freaked out, Maise, I didn't say "flyover cities")--aren't ready for a young, black President named Barack Obama. They're just not, and they're not going to vote for him. I know this would technically include his home state, it doesn't matter.

If BO (heh heh) gets the nom, then McCain is a shoo-in. Our national voting history has proven that we prefer mature, pale, maybe even angry leaders.

I think McCain will get shit done. I might not agree with him on everything, but I am probably the only candidate with whom I would agree on everything, and I have no plans to run until 2020 (a magical year...).

My only real concern with McCain--and I mean this with all sincerity, though it's going to sound like a joke--is that he was a POW. For years. What if he has a flashback?

Have you ever seen someone have a flashback? It can be really freaky (my dad used to have them before my parents were divorced--probably still does, I dunno).

Iris said...



Sorry but I have to link to this right now.

Zeemort said...

did someone say my name?

... ages ago? :X

The Wasp Factory is HELLA TWISTED. But I kinda liked it, even if I am a total wuss when it comes to animal cruelty.


JR said...

What are you guys putting in your ice cream recipes? Is anyone else using cherries?

D:ANGEL said...

Hey Z.

Yeah - You mentioned it a while back and I bought it in Dec. but finally read it. Obviously, being all vegan-y/animal rights-y I didn't like the animal stuff but it is a work of fiction and doesn't make it seem "cool" - like they could have been doing the same stuff to humans - it was more a symbol of the brother's dysfunction. Anyway - very twisted indeed.

JR - no ice cream - but I did have a vegan Smore from Jax Cafe over on Westwood (you know, by UCLA).

JR said...

A vegan smore? No thanks. I like my marshmallows to taste like horse hooves.

And I know I'm supposed to keep my work bitching over at JR, but can I just say: is it fucking spring fever or what? Why is every person who works for me getting all sassy and second-guessy? I ain't havin' it. For reals.

Jesus Christ.

Iris said...

No cherries in this ice cream so far but learning how to work this"ice cream churn" from Mr. Monotone Voice is making my sleep deprived self even more sleepy. And grumpy to boot.

And you can grump all you want about work. I had another of those "Why do I keep this fucking job?" days. If you guys read any news headlines like "Office Employee Kills 3 Co-Workers With Keyboard, Maims 2 Others" then you'll know I've snapped.

JR said...

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

JR said...


Iris said...

Just call me Milton.

JR said...

No, I'm Milton.

I was given a red swingline stapler by friends when I switched jobs. Yeah.


Iris said...

Oh me too! I got the Milton kit (name tag and all) at my last job because they thought I was a stapler Nazi for putting my name on it. The bitches kept stealing it off my desk saying "oh I didn't know whose it was". Well you'd know if you looked at my name written on the side. lol

JR said...

Around my workplace, I get called "grammar Nazi."

At home, my husband just calls me Hitler. He says I'm a hardass.

I don't know why.

(I LOVE that you put your name on the stapler.)

Iris said...

Well then you might also appreciate this. At my current job my ruler had a tendency to walk off so after the supplies lady refused to order me another one I went and bought one myself. It now says in Sharpie on the back "Iris Rules". No lie.

JR said...

I do love that.

I would have bought one of those chains like they have for the pens at the bank, and threaded it through the hole.

We had to start chaining up our scissors, but one of the dumbasses who works for me (I say that in the nicest way possible), used ribbon to chain it up. Which is really easy to cut with the scissors attached to it.

I frequently have stuff shipped to me at work with my name followed by "The Great." Why not? It makes me laugh when I see it, and it reminds everyone else, too.

JR said...

You could also write "Stolen From Iris" on the back. Works whether you're using it or someone else is.

Iris said...

LOL. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the pack, huh.

Well since we're on office tales yesterdays was a pretty good day for pranks, being April 1st and all. We had a pretty good attack/retaliation going on all day between me and another girl (who I actually don't mind).

-I put post-it note under her laser mouse so it wouldn't work

-she daisy chained about 30 paperclips together and put them back in my paperclip tray with a handwritten note hidden underneath saying "April Fools"

-I adjusted her chair to sit as low to the ground as possible and tilted back about 6 inches further

-she removed the ball from my mouse and hid it in my drawer

-I put her daisy chained paperclip creation in the HR lady's office along with her note making the HR lady believe it was her

And so on and so forth. Wasn't a very productive day but entertaining. Also shows how pathetic office life can get if this is entertainment. ;)

Oh and if I ever do decide that I want to be fired for something stupid at that place then I'm pulling this prank.

JR said...

When I worked in a bigger office, I really enjoyed the anonymous prank. Now, it's a little difficult because we're a smaller office, so any pranks pulled are more obvious, and I don't have a lot of peers and don't want to be the next Michael Scott.

I like to fuck with the clocks. That amuses me.

The coworker that I can't stand got her phone cord pulled almost completely out, so that if she moves too far while on the phone, it'll fall out of the receiver (and her cord is all knots because she's always stretching it by walking across the office while on the phone). She can expect a lot more of that shit, too, since I can't stand her.

Another fun one is to make a few photocopies of a paperclip, then randomly put the pages back into the paper supply. People will think there is a paperclip in the machine, which is practically impossible, but it won't stop them from looking. Especially if it keeps happening.

But my favorite prank was back in the "big office" days. I had my husband write a note (so no one would recognize the writing) that said "To whomever keeps stealing my lunch: I hope you enjoy it. Just so you know, I have put a special treat in there for you, and will continue to do so until you stop stealing my lunch." Posted to the fridge, unsigned. Sit back and wait for the fun to happen. (Of course, I had no lunch in the fridge, and no one had been stealing lunches. I was just mixing it up.)

Turns out that the old battle axe who was in charge of purchasing (and who, by the way, was EXTREMELY "thrifty," and would always scavenge when there was food leftover from meetings, etc.), got pulled into the office of the director responsible for her dept, and scolded for stealing lunches (he apparently saw the note and jumped to a conclusion). She was PISSED, because she hadn't stolen any lunches, but no one believed her.

It was one of my proudest moments.

Isabel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Iris said...

Isabel I got your review. I don't have time this morning. I'll get it moved over to an actual post in the next day or so but shoot me an email first. I've got a couple questions for you. My email is listed on my profile.

Natala said...

Great work.