Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Just What the Doctor Ordered

We will return to your regularly scheduled program momentarily
but first...

March 26, 2008 -- TIRED of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers, and where musicals about high school students pass as rock 'n' roll, Dr Pepper is begging Axl Rose to finally release this year his 17-years-in-the-making album, "Chinese Democracy." The soft drink company's incentive to Axl, the frontman of Guns N' Roses? If he ships the album in 2008, everyone in America - except estranged guitarists Slash and Buckethead - will receive a free can of Dr Pepper. "It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl's question for the perfect album," said a company spokesperson. Dr Pepper is asking fans to lobby Axl to drop the album already.

Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh Axl! Stop! Stop! My side hurts. Ow, ow! And Company Spokesperson you're KILLING me with the "it took a little patience" pun. Seriously!

But wait...*sniff, sniff* that a gimmick I smell? Here's how I'm predicting it will go down, folks. If, I said if, Axl actually drops this record in 2008 I'm saying that in order to claim your FREE Dr. Pepper people will have to actually BUY the album. So who's up for a $15 can of soda with a side of has-been?

Any takers?


JR said...

I LOVE Dr. Pepper!

I had waaay too much to drink with my boss tonight. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Iris said...

Oh JR! Just go lay down and eventually the room will quit spinning.

JR said...

alright, I'm better now. My arms hurt, though.

I still love Dr. Pepper.

Speaking of Axl, what happened to those styling cornrows he had? Guess the vacation to Jamaica is long gone, huh?

Iris said...

What are you talking about, JR? He's still got the braids in this picture. Or is this one dated? If he doesn't have the braids then what's he doing with his hair now?

Iris said...

That makes me sound way more interested in his hair than I actually am.

JR said...

Oh, those are braids? I thought he got a perm.