I'm Not Sure If You've Heard...

But Michael Jackson has passed away at the age of 50.

The media frenzy (reminiscent of Princess Diana's funeral) is at once baffling, in the face of much more important issues--Iran, North Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq, U.S. health care, etc. But the constant coverage and over-the-top spectacle are certainly predictable, if not understandable. It was a bit of a shock, and aren't we all just the tiniest bit curious? What made this strange, sad man suddenly drop dead? Are we finally going to get the exclusive, tell-all details? Of course, it's all none of our business, and the tabloid-consuming public is complicit in many ways in his ultimate madness and downfall, I'm sure. But if you're my age, Michael Jackson most likely meant something to you at some point in your childhood. And you may find it's still possible to love the old hits while watching in dismay as his face corroded and he was accused of molesting CHILDREN, for Christ's sake.

I am of an age where Michael Jackson was one of my first celebrity crushes--I was about seven or eight years old when "Billie Jean" and "Beat It" were all the rage. My best childhood friend--the neighbor boy next door--had Michael Jackson albums that we would listen to religiously after school. He was grounded once when a nun caught him trying to moonwalk out of church. I remember being at the baby shower of a family friend when the "Thriller" video premiered and how everyone at this baby shower--young and old alike--stopped everything just to watch this video. I remember watching MTV for hours, waiting for Michael Jackson videos to play. ("Darn it, it's just Prince again.") I loved his infectious pop songs, his dancing (before all the crotch-grabbing), his singing (before all the interjections of "SHAMON!"), his sense of style that had everyone looking insane in the 80s, emulating him with single white gloves and "Beat It" and "Thriller" jackets. So much childhood can be conjured up just by listening to those songs.

And then there was the realization that my peers and I had left childhood behind, but Michael never had. This man grew older and stranger-looking and clung to tree-climbing and amusement parks and petting zoos, which I guess wouldn't have been so awful if it weren't for the "slumber parties" that were frankly sinister. He had been robbed of his innocence long ago and didn't understand that you can't recreate it. He didn't understand that LOTS of people are robbed of an idyllic childhood yet turn out okay, because he had lived his *entire life* in a narcissistic celebrity bubble. And although I can't say for certain what went on behind closed doors, he may have damaged some children along the way. Or even damaged them by association...once molestation charges are levied, how do you think other kids and adults would react by finding out you hung out at Neverland...even if nothing had actually happened? I certainly hope that none of it was ever true, but his legacy will never shake those suspicions.

A lot of the tributes and public mourning are totally hypocritical. All of the current stars wailing about Michael Jackson's music and legacy--I don't remember a lot of them sitting at the feet of their master in recent years. All of the news stations covering his death and funeral arrangements 24-7...these were the same media figures that reveled in his bizarre antics.

When I think of Michael Jackson, I reflect on the sadness of his life...a young boy abused, a great talent exploited, a beautiful black face willingly mutilated. But I can't give myself over to hysterical mourning because well, a) I never knew him and b) I feel uncomfortable lionizing someone who may have left child victims in his wake. I guess the kindest thing to do is to try to remember the good about him, to remember him in his prime, when he really was the King of Pop, when I thought he was totally, totally cute.

Remember him like this:

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

Perhaps some of you are too young, but I remember as a wee girl watching Michael Jackson's "Thriller" at the home of a family friend during a party. The entire party stopped while everyone gathered around the TV, and it felt like a momentous occasion, even if you weren't seven years old with a raging crush on Michael Jackson, whose fundamental weirdness had not yet become apparent. The length of the video and the special effects were unprecedented. And even though poor MJ has since become his own horror movie villain, you gotta admit, the song and the video still totally rock.

It's no wonder, then, that in the "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" world of YouTube, there are some memorable renditions and parodies of "Thriller" that Iris and I have dug up for some Halloween fun!

The Internationally Hilarious::

Indian Thriller
One of my students alerted me to the existence of the "Bollywood" version of "Thriller." What I love about it is how the heroine in peril looks more embarrassed and appalled than frightened. And if I even contemplate this video, the song gets stuck in my head for hours.

Indian Thriller #2 Here's another Indian parody of "Thriller." This one isn't quite as well made as the first, I'm afraid, but is that Steven Tyler making a cameo at 1:22?

Dominican Thriller
Here we have the original "Thriller" dubbed in Spanish, sped up, and with a little Salsa flair. Very nice.

Filipino prisoners
This has to be the highest morale prison in the entire world. I laughed so hard when I first watched this one a couple months ago. Pay close attention to the “chick.” Don’t worry if you miss “her” the first time because you were laughing too hard; “she” makes another appearance towards the end. What may be even funnier is the behind the scenes look on how they put it all together. Mr. Maise, the police officer, doesn't think this would fly in an American prison.


Thriller in Uniform:
US Marine Thriller--Hoo ah!
Listen to the other Marines laugh and taunt until they realize this dude knows the whole routine. Not a bad guy to have around when you’re in the middle of a giant sandbox with nothing but time on your hands. I'm beginning to wonder if he was ever stationed in the Philippines.

For Nerds Only:

Harry Potter
No YouTube video collection would be complete without the Harry Potter tribute video, right? There are literally bazillions of these floating around on the Tube. Most are either crap or really creepy (but not in the good way). This one was at least nicely timed to the words of the song.

Final Fantasy
Those of you who are fans of Final Fantasy should enjoy this one. At first I thought this would be just another tribute video with clips from the movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. This should quell any doubts that video game programmers have way too much time on their hands. Check out the dancing Phantoms in the back.

Game Mascots
Further proof that game programmers have too much time. But look at Master Chief go! Go Sir, Go!

With Legos!
Good Lord, I wonder how long it took to stop animate this entire thing! They’ve got a hell of a lot more patience than I do, so I won’t even criticize them that much for it being out of focus.

Danny Angel, Pay Attention!

Wedding
There are loads of these reception videos out there with the results being pretty hit or miss. But hey, it’s better than the Macarena. I’m wondering if this is currently being practiced 5 nights a week and twice on Saturdays to be performed with nothing short sheer perfection for our own Angelman’s wedding. Hmm...