Why It's Impossible for Me to Hate Eddie Vedder...

Jesus H, does everyone feel as frazzled as me? As usual, I've got the two jobs going, and I can't stop reading election coverage, and I've been devoting my time to some exciting creative projects in My Real Life, and I've been volunteering for greyhounds, Barack Obama, and overly expensive, but exciting, gourmet food festivals. But even with all that going on, I haven't forgotten you, Loyal and Long-Suffering Places Parallel readers.

So I thought I'd take a moment to explain why I can't hate Eddie Vedder, as much as I'd like to. Here are the reasons I wouldn't like him, if I had a choice:

1) Looks unwashed.
2) Mumbles when he sings slooooooooow dirges.
3) Tends to get preachy onstage.
4) My Worst Fucking Enemy--I mean my Fucking NEMESIS--in college LOVED him.

But here's the reason that it's impossible for me to hate him:



Any man who's a Cubs fan is all right by me.

Perhaps--just maybe--2008 can be our year. An African American president?* The Cubs winning the World Series for the first time in 100 years? Talk about the audacity of hope...Go Cubs Go!

*I'm going to overlook the fact that Barry is a South-Sider and a fan of that OTHER Chicago baseball franchise that shall go unnamed here.