Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Why It's Impossible for Me to Hate Eddie Vedder...

Jesus H, does everyone feel as frazzled as me? As usual, I've got the two jobs going, and I can't stop reading election coverage, and I've been devoting my time to some exciting creative projects in My Real Life, and I've been volunteering for greyhounds, Barack Obama, and overly expensive, but exciting, gourmet food festivals. But even with all that going on, I haven't forgotten you, Loyal and Long-Suffering Places Parallel readers.

So I thought I'd take a moment to explain why I can't hate Eddie Vedder, as much as I'd like to. Here are the reasons I wouldn't like him, if I had a choice:

1) Looks unwashed.
2) Mumbles when he sings slooooooooow dirges.
3) Tends to get preachy onstage.
4) My Worst Fucking Enemy--I mean my Fucking NEMESIS--in college LOVED him.

But here's the reason that it's impossible for me to hate him:

Any man who's a Cubs fan is all right by me.

Perhaps--just maybe--2008 can be our year. An African American president?* The Cubs winning the World Series for the first time in 100 years? Talk about the audacity of hope...Go Cubs Go!

*I'm going to overlook the fact that Barry is a South-Sider and a fan of that OTHER Chicago baseball franchise that shall go unnamed here.


D:ANGEL said...

Off topic -

This was in my hotmail account:

Message from Trent:

Hello everyone.
I'd like to thank everyone for a very successful year so far in the world of Nine Inch Nails. I'm enjoying my couple of weeks off between legs of our Lights In The Sky tour and got to thinking... "wouldn't it be fun to send out a survey to everyone that's shown interest in NIN?" Well, that's not exactly how it went, but regardless - here it is. As we've moved from the familiar world of record labels and BS into the unknown world of doing everything yourself, we've realized it would benefit us and our ability to interact with you if we knew more about what you want, what you like, what you look like naked, etc. I know it's a pain in the ass but we'd truly appreciate it if you'd take a minute and help us out. As an incentive, everyone who completes the survey will be able to download a video of live performance from this most recent tour (and I know what's going through your little minds right now: "I'll just grab this off a torrent site and not have to fill out the survey!!!" and guess what? You will be able to do just that and BEAT THE SYSTEM!!!! NIN=pwn3d!!!)
What if we were to select some of those that DO complete the survey and provide them with something really cool? I'm not saying we'll ever get around to it, but if we did maybe something like signed stuff, flying someone to a show somewhere in the world, a magic amulet that makes you invisible, a date with Jeordie White (condoms supplied of course), you know - something cool. See, you'd miss that opportunity AND be a cheater.
Do the right thing - help us out. You'll feel better.

Thank you and I've had too much caffeine this morning,

maise said...

LOL that Dan is the one providing us with a much-needed Trent update. Why the fuck didn't I get this? I'm on the list! I want to take the survey! Goddamnit.

maise said...

Okay, found the survey. Goddamn, it's long. I find myself flummoxed trying to remember where I bought everything.

And I don't want to divulge my last 3 DVD purchases to Trent. Last time I was in Best Buy, I was all, "Ooh! 101 Dalmatians! Ooh! Sword in the Stone!" And I think I can add Ratatouille to that list...

Oh! And everyone...list Places Parallel as a CRITICAL source of music news information!

D:ANGEL said...

I like to think of myself as really having the "insider" angle on any and all things NIN.


...or not.

I feel you Maise. Work has been TOUGH lately and I am reading up to 300 pages a week for school, plus lots of other drama I won't go into here.

Last 3 DVD purchases?

Troll 2
Opeth's Live DVD...

That is it for at least the last 6 months.

D:ANGEL said...

I just did the survey for kicks.

I really like metal. That is what I learned.

Fikus said...

Haven´t you heard Eddie Vedder´s cover of Johnny Cash´s"Hurt"? I mean, if THAT is no reason to hate him ... "I believe he´s from Chicago"

maise said...

Nope, I've not heard Vedder's cover of "Hurt," and I presume you're being sarcastic by attributing it primarily to Cash, although that version was beautiful and haunting.

And Vedder is from nearby Evanston, if I remember correctly.

Anonymous said...

Eddie Vedder´s HOT! Wayyyyy hotter than ole Trent.

maise said...

Um, okay. If you say so.

Fikus said...

If I am sarcastic or not depends on who of the two came from Chicago, Trent or Johnny Cash.
Here´s an upoload of the mp3. It´s not my upload but it was still working this morning: http://www.sendspace.com/file/0ezarv
You might want to take a seat before listen to it - and you also might want to make sure you have a lot of alcohol at hand and the off button of you speakers. Just in case ...

Iris said...

See, I've heard about Eddie doing a cover of "Hurt" but why can't someone just upload it to YouTube or something. If it's really as God awful as I've heard people allude to then why on Earth would I want to download it to my computer?

maise said...

"If I am sarcastic or not depends on who of the two came from Chicago, Trent or Johnny Cash."


Fikus said...

Sorry Iris, I don´t have an account on Youtube and I certainly won´t get one for uploading this piece of art.
Maise, yeah, sorry, it´s my English or the missing context. Eddie Vedder says in the beginning of the song that he believes the original songwriter would be from Chicago. So if Johnny Cash came from Chicago (I don´t know where he was born, will look it up right after this) I just paraphrase Vedder. If not, I´m being sarcastic.

Fikus said...

Okay, he was born in Arkansas. I guess, I´m being sarcastic then.