Thursday, December 3, 2009

Aaaaand, I'm Back!

First off, no, I'm not dead. Just took a bit of extended leave. A girl's allowed a break every now and then. Hopefully this is the start of making my way back on here more regularly. I know I've still got a TON of videos and pictures to edit and a show review to write up, but I will get to them. Eventually.

Anyhow, what brings me out of the woodwork this evening, believe it or not, is Marilyn Manson. It started out innocently enough when Maise and I started talking about MM's recent revelation that he is dating Evan Rachel Wood again. And well it went downhill from there to the recent music video he released, but it was kind of funny so we decided to "live blog" it for our always patient readers.


Maise: OMFG! Marilyn Manson is claiming that he's back together with Evan Rachel Wood.

Iris: I saw that! WTF is she thinking?

Maise: She was rumored to be dating fucking TRUE BLOOD ERIC! How the fuck do you fuck that up and wind up back with Marilyn Manson?????

Iris: Or! (dunt-dunt-dunt!) Is he lying?

Maise: Perhaps. He is totally fucked in the head with drugs. I'm sure he lies all the time.

Iris: If she is back with him then she was probably all "...but he needs me. I can fix him."

Maise: And MM just made a video where he beats an Evan lookalike to death. Charming!

(Be warned. The end of the video is NSFW.)

Iris: Up to that point it's the most boring. video. ever. I heard about it and thought I'd check it out. I watched the first few minutes and I was like "okay...when's it happening, when's it happening?"

Maise: Yeah, I'm waiting to watch it now. [Note: Maise's computer has no sound currently]

You mean, that doesn't even happen in the beginning?

Iris: No, he doesn't really start getting her until the end. I skipped part of the middle though so she might appear earlier too.

Maise: Awwww, at 00:16, he's a sad, sad clown.

Wow, this is a boring ass video.

It's like 00:51, and he's just standing there.

Iris: Trust me. Even with music, it isn't much better.

Maise: Shockingly, he's kind of not super ugly in this. I mean, he's not good-looking by any means, but the makeup is a little more understated.

God, if I paused this video, it would be the same as watching it. 2:fucking 30, and he's still moping with the curtain.

Iris: You'll have to listen to it tomorrow at work. I don't know why he's constantly gotta have his vocals on wah-wah synth pitch.

Maise: LOL. Probably because he has a shitty singing voice.

Iris: Well if he really wants to shock me then he should do an acoustic number.

Maise: With no makeup.

Iris: steps, man, baby steps.

Maise: An acoustic number wherein he finds Jesus after all these years.

Iris: LOL

Maise: Okay...You weren't kidding about this being the most boring video ever.

Iris: And there's 6 minutes of it.

Maise: Must have been pretty cheap to make, at least.

Oh, now we're sort of getting to the ERW part.

Iris: I'll bet it was self-shot in his bathroom with his shower curtain and some black candles in the background ala Chris Crocker style.

Maise: LOLOLOL! OMG, he totally looks like Chris Crocker in his sad clown scenes.

Now we're in horror movie vision.

What's with the tie?

Actually, wardrobe wise, I think that's a good look.

Iris: Yeah, I like the leather glove when he signs his slam book.

Maise: Ugh, who would allow themselves to be beaten to death by that sad little mime?

Iris: "Dear diary, Evan Rachel Wood has RUINED my life."

Maise: LOL. Well, this video is both boring AND grody, but it wasn't quite as explicitly violent as I was expecting. Wouldn't have me running back to date him, though.

"I'm sorry, Alexander Skarsgaard, I must leave your HOT ass to return to Marilyn Manson who makes videos about murdering me."

Can you believe he's got both Twiggy AND Vrenna working with him?

OMG, this interview! Manson broke up with Interscope, isn't that a surprise?

Iris: “Yeah, I think it will be more badass , I think it’s going to be more romantic maybe. Self abusive.”


Maise: Okay, the only ones who think cutting is shocking any more are Manson and sixth-grade girls.

By means of comparison...

Now that is how you do the sexxxy violence.

Iris: Okay, GAWD DAMN!!! That grin! That is badass! Not "I'm a sad clown posing with my shower curtain and oh yeah, I beat up my ex girlfriend."

Maise: Exactly.

God I LOVE his character SO MUCH! There is this scene in the second series where he says "trust me" to Sookie, and it is the hottest thing EVER said on film.


From there it just digressed further into the hotness that is Alexander Skarsgaard as Eric Northman. I'll spare you for now but I can't guarantee the same for the comments section.


Isabel said...

I love those comments - yes, when you mentioned the Chris Crocker resemblance it made it even more difficult to take the video seriously. What is the matter with the woman?

Isabel said...

To add to that, the MM forums and youtube seemed full of people going on about how 'deep' it is because he cried in it - WTF?

Iris said...

Well until word comes from the ERW camp on their reunion, I'm sticking with my theory that MM is lying.

And what the hell MM forum people? So what if he cried. To me that just means a closer resemblance to Chris Crocker. lol

Isabel said...

I love the Onion article where they have Manson going door-to-door desperate to shock people. Hilarious -

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