Deirdre here. I've been... well, let's say "out of commission" for awhile now, but I felt like it was time for the former president of the Girls Who Love Trent Club to come forward and say a few words in view of it being the end of the road for Nine Inch Nails, and your impending nuptials and the way you're so hassled by haters these days.
Fucking haters. Seriously. Where do these (apparently often fat) bitches get off? Don't they know that if they really, really loved you, like I do, they could never do anything but wish you joy in all your future endeavors? I've never actually seen or heard what kinds of things these members of "the community" have to say, but I just think you should know that not all girls who love you are hateful, plus-size lying whores; or for that matter, would even be WILLING to fuck you if you offered, let alone saddling up and then telling the whole internets about (real or fictional) cocks-of-rock cowboy stories. Some of us girls who love you (and have known the self-righteous hatertude of all the people who are so much better at being NIN fans than we ever were, since they are serious people who don't love you, and know all about synths and shit) have only ever wished you all the love in the world and a lifetime of satisfying work.
What I'm trying to say, Sparklepants, is remember back in the salad days of wearingthesechains.com when I told you that my love would always be true, that my heart would always throb your name, and that you'd always be inside me, like, forever? Well, nothing has changed; it's still true, and shall ever be. I'll always remember the times when your awesome rockshow spoke it's secret language to me, making me stronger and better able to be me without compromising, and helped me fight on, just like I'll never forget the way you brought new meaning to the words "Jesus motherfucking Christ, that guy is smoking hot, look at his TEETH!"
But, does that mean, as some might ask, that now I must mourn the fact that you have found love, and can't keep it in? Did I rend my garments upon learning that you are officially off the market, and that love now calls YOU to shout it from the rooftops? Of course not! I mean, let's face it: wherever you were ON the market, I never shopped there, but more importantly, my dear, dear Trent, I love to hear it! It makes me feel closer to you than ever before because finally: you know how I felt about you.
Just let me know, darling, if you want me to give you away at the wedding. I'm ready!
Love and kisses forever and ever,
PS. Regarding the haters who apparently speak louder than all the love: go home and meditate or something, baby; they aren't worth the angst. Fuck 'em!