Closer to Closer...

So as some of you may know, new behind-the-scenes footage of the "Closer" video has been unleashed on the Internets by the ETS folks--like a ridiculous amount of footage, 5 hours worth! Iris has been diligently downloading for DAYS now, and soon we will be in possession of all 300 glorious gothy minutes, but for now, the first four minutes can be found on YouTube, thusly:



In case you're not sure whether you should dedicate four minutes of your life to watching this video, allow me to provide color commentary:

0:02--The bald guy appears to be very personable but is still creepy.

0:08--I bet that female crew member LOVES that footage has been released revealing her butt crack. Where exactly is our cameraperson? Under a chair?

0:19--Someone is spray-painting the side of beef behind Trent.

0:39--Mmmm, Trent. Trent at his single most fuckable moment, wearing the single most fuckable leather jacket in the history of leather jackets (sorry, Dan!). OMG, he has such Pantene hair in this video! Does he realize that someone is filming him while hiding under a chair? Will he forget and absentmindedly pick his nose or scratch his balls?

1:08--Another crew member's ass. No crack visible.

1:15--The words "Nine Inch Nails" flash across the screen. Just in case you've forgotten what you're watching.

1:22--OMG, those leather pants are fucking hot too.

1:33--Trent begins to rotate on turntable thing. His arms are crossed uncomfortably behind his back.

1:42--Trent grins like a goof.

1:54--Trent is still spinning...I'd probably eventually barf on this turntable. Speaking of barfing, of which I have a major phobia, Iris and I shared this conversation on the subject:

Maise: I think Trent DID barf while making this video...I hope they don't show that.

Iris: well i can preview it for you and tell you what to avoid if they show it

Maise: Yes, please!

Iris: or if there are sound effects

Maise: I mean, although Trent barfing would be hotter than anyone else barfing, it still would make me very unhappy.

Iris: LOL! that is the most fangirl thing i've EVER heard.

2:07--We get a shot of Trent's boots. I bet those took a long time to lace up.

2:18--Trent is lip-synching. I would have a hard time just lip-synching in front of a bunch of people. I'd probably keep trying to sing along. I very nearly made a stupid Milli Vanilli joke here, but you're lucky I didn't.

2:32--Trent paws at his hair in a tortured manner.

3:08--Trent lip-synching and spinning...

3:13 or 3:14--Trent seems to almost fall off the turntable.

3:19--Trent bends down in dramatic anguish or nausea.

4:03--Trent lip-synching and spinning. Maybe I'm projecting, but he looks like he's over it.

And there you have it folks...only 4 hours and 56 minutes to go! More to come, I'm sure...