The Bryan Cranston cameo takes this over the edge. Since it's just me talking to myself for now, there's going to be a LOT of Breaking Bad discussion. With myself.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Maise the Twit
I had abandoned my Twitter account for about three years, feeling that I had lost interest in anyone's 140-character thoughts. Plus, Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman seem to be hell-bent on killing the Internet with their INCESSANT CHATTER...OH MY GOD, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!! I admire and respect them both, but Jesus Christ almighty!!! Do they ever just talk on the phone or have face-to-face conversations? Do they watch TV or go to the grocery store? Their inner monologues are just tweeted all day and all night! The simple answer is that I should just "unfollow" them if I don't want that much exposure to them, but I kind of enjoy marveling at how they NEVER stop Tweeting. I sort of love to hate them at this point.
Neil and Amanda, I'm a fan. This comes out of love. Consider creating a "mystique." A quiet mystique behind which fans only get the tiniest glance. When I fall in love with someone, I don't want to know EVERYTHING about that person all at once. I want that person to be an onion of secrets, and I can gradually peel back the layers. Not that onions are very sexy. I just can't really think of anything else that comes off in layers like that. Anyway.
So yesterday I was looking back at my own limited Twitter persona, and I realized, God, I'm kind of an asshole! Especially to poor Trent Reznor. When I have tweeted at him, look what I've written:
And I wonder why he doesn't follow me! But he's never told me to "fuck off," either, and he even gave Iris a hug with her L'Orangerie Stank shirt on.
So I'm a trouble-maker on the Internet. And I probably will be until I get the cease-and-desist letter. If I ever become creatively successful, someone may just harass me in the persona of my dead chinchilla, Rollo. That's karma, but I wouldn't mind too much. She always was sassy, with a dirty mouth.
Neil and Amanda, I'm a fan. This comes out of love. Consider creating a "mystique." A quiet mystique behind which fans only get the tiniest glance. When I fall in love with someone, I don't want to know EVERYTHING about that person all at once. I want that person to be an onion of secrets, and I can gradually peel back the layers. Not that onions are very sexy. I just can't really think of anything else that comes off in layers like that. Anyway.
So yesterday I was looking back at my own limited Twitter persona, and I realized, God, I'm kind of an asshole! Especially to poor Trent Reznor. When I have tweeted at him, look what I've written:
@trent_reznor Good job riling up the Prince fans. Now they're starting to invade our blog. The rabid Weezer fans will be next, I suppose.
@trent_reznor I'd like to bitch about my workload. Policing my blog for anti-you trolls doesn't help. 2 hrs of overtime and counting...
(This was around the time that Trent got engaged, and because we at Places Parallel were not permitting racist nastiness to be posted on our website about Mariqueen, Iris and I started to become the scapegoat for everyone's sexual frustration and broken dreams. So I was a little frustrated.)
@trent_reznor I think you should go back to terse nin.com updates. Like one cryptic sentence every two weeks for everyone to agonize over.
(See? Mystique.)
@trent_reznor Yes, it must be HORRIBLE to gallivant around Europe in the summer, being a rock star. This office-dwelling bitch feels you.
Wow, I had forgotten what it was like to be a Twitter addict. It's not quite the same without @trent_reznor's tantrums and troll-baiting.
And I wonder why he doesn't follow me! But he's never told me to "fuck off," either, and he even gave Iris a hug with her L'Orangerie Stank shirt on.
So I'm a trouble-maker on the Internet. And I probably will be until I get the cease-and-desist letter. If I ever become creatively successful, someone may just harass me in the persona of my dead chinchilla, Rollo. That's karma, but I wouldn't mind too much. She always was sassy, with a dirty mouth.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I Came Back. Came Back Haunted.
Huh. This all still works. Nobody here but the spammers and the ghosts of haters, inexplicably accusing us of being obese just because Trent Reznor got himself hitched. Which is fine. I'm not sure where I'm going to be taking this thing...it's like a box of stuff from college that you've kept in your basement, untouched for years, all dusty and full of cobwebs, and there may be a live beetle somewhere near the bottom, so you're a bit hesitant to dig through it.
Taking a three-year break. Now THAT'S a way to promote your blog!
Still, the break was needed. Things were getting a bit crazy around here, and what was really fun was no longer fun. Three years later, in my unassuming real life, I've been questioning a lot of things--what is my calling? Am I really meant to be a writer? Gosh, I really AM fat now, aren't I? A lot of things that I've fought hard for in this life hardly seem worthwhile. So I've got a bit of fire in my belly--unclutter, escape from an untenable situation, go for a jog now and again, sort out this writing question once and for all. I was thinking of starting a new blog. But I think this old one will do. No one but me and the spammers and the haters and hopefully you.
Oh, and this past weekend I was here. I mean, I couldn't SEE any of this...I'm far too short and was well in the back of the crowd, but it was an amazing, cathartic experience, regardless. I'm so happy that I can still look forward to hearing these songs live for a while, that Trent was lying when he "waved goodbye."
But two observations: 1) Those shorts are HIDEOUS. I mean, an actual fashion atrocity. They're like harem pants, but khaki shorts. They've got like three feet of crotch space. Like what was he thinking...ugh, no. 2) He really needs to get a handle on the "HEY"s and the "GO!"s. A direct quote from "Came Back Haunted": "Ha ha ha ha...GO!" These exclamations seem almost involuntary at this point, but with a little cognitive therapy, I think he can work through it.
This won't be solely a NIN parody-blog-thing, or whatever we were doing before. Nor will it only be a music review blog. I've hijacked this shit, and hopefully we'll be going to places parallel to the places parallel Iris and I originally imagined. Unless I say "fuck it" and let the grass and the weeds and the trees overrun this place. No harm done in that case. Who doesn't need more links to Viagra and new, exciting ways to make money at home?
Taking a three-year break. Now THAT'S a way to promote your blog!
Still, the break was needed. Things were getting a bit crazy around here, and what was really fun was no longer fun. Three years later, in my unassuming real life, I've been questioning a lot of things--what is my calling? Am I really meant to be a writer? Gosh, I really AM fat now, aren't I? A lot of things that I've fought hard for in this life hardly seem worthwhile. So I've got a bit of fire in my belly--unclutter, escape from an untenable situation, go for a jog now and again, sort out this writing question once and for all. I was thinking of starting a new blog. But I think this old one will do. No one but me and the spammers and the haters and hopefully you.
Oh, and this past weekend I was here. I mean, I couldn't SEE any of this...I'm far too short and was well in the back of the crowd, but it was an amazing, cathartic experience, regardless. I'm so happy that I can still look forward to hearing these songs live for a while, that Trent was lying when he "waved goodbye."
But two observations: 1) Those shorts are HIDEOUS. I mean, an actual fashion atrocity. They're like harem pants, but khaki shorts. They've got like three feet of crotch space. Like what was he thinking...ugh, no. 2) He really needs to get a handle on the "HEY"s and the "GO!"s. A direct quote from "Came Back Haunted": "Ha ha ha ha...GO!" These exclamations seem almost involuntary at this point, but with a little cognitive therapy, I think he can work through it.
This won't be solely a NIN parody-blog-thing, or whatever we were doing before. Nor will it only be a music review blog. I've hijacked this shit, and hopefully we'll be going to places parallel to the places parallel Iris and I originally imagined. Unless I say "fuck it" and let the grass and the weeds and the trees overrun this place. No harm done in that case. Who doesn't need more links to Viagra and new, exciting ways to make money at home?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
How to Destroy Angels Has Released a Video!
First of all, you can watch "The Space in Between" in 1080p here.
Okay, let's discuss!
Okay, video is starting in a poorly lit hotel...kind of sounds like a slowed-down "Burn" so far, but I can go with it.
Someone has left the TV on, the water running, a cigarette burning...there's life with Mr. Maise right there.
HOLY SHIT...what has happened to our happy couple?!!!!
More monotone "singing." So I've figured out why I'm not really into HDA. It is the singing...NOT the fact that it's her and not really her voice, although no one is going to mistake her for Jennifer Hudson or anything. It's the fact that she's essentially singing Nine Inch Nails songs in a dull monotone. It might work if she were in Ladytron or something, but Trent's music is very strum und drang, emotional, cathartic. In one song, he can range from a whisper to a sexy growl to a rage-filled roar. I mean, let's face it...lyrics are not Trent's strong suit. Half the time, he's recycling lyrics from other songs. It's the WAY he sings it that draws me in. So that's why the monotone is not doing it for me at. all. Don't get me wrong--it's not a *bad* song. It's just kind of boring.
Anyhoo.
Meanwhile, Trent's not up to much in this video. "Don't pay me any mind...I'm just a corpse here...had nothing to do with the making of this song..."
And Mariqueen tries her best to be the SEXXXIEST possible dead person. Yuck.
Atticus does a good job at being sort of vaguely sinister:
But who the hell is this chatty blonde? Seriously? Who is this??
Well, it probably doesn't matter, since it's meant to be all David Lynch and mysterious, I guess. It's kind of a cool video, but it also sort of feels like something Marilyn Manson would do now that he's back together with Evan Rachel Wood. "We love each other so much we are BLOODY CORPSES!" Maybe this is all some allegory about Trent and MQ's feelings when they got into all those fights on Twitter.
About two minutes in, this production turns into an overserious remake of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"
But I have to admit that the effects are pretty cool.
But they should have done some movie magic on the gross feet in this video:
This band hasn't released their first EP, and there are clearly already some serious tensions within the group:
I would like to point out that when CSI Miami arrives, they're going to get the phone logs for this room, and Chatty Cathy's fingerprints are clearly on it. Horatio Caine would know just what to say.
So there you have it. Kinda cool video. Boring song. Thoughts?
Okay, let's discuss!
Okay, video is starting in a poorly lit hotel...kind of sounds like a slowed-down "Burn" so far, but I can go with it.
Someone has left the TV on, the water running, a cigarette burning...there's life with Mr. Maise right there.
HOLY SHIT...what has happened to our happy couple?!!!!
(click for larger size)
More monotone "singing." So I've figured out why I'm not really into HDA. It is the singing...NOT the fact that it's her and not really her voice, although no one is going to mistake her for Jennifer Hudson or anything. It's the fact that she's essentially singing Nine Inch Nails songs in a dull monotone. It might work if she were in Ladytron or something, but Trent's music is very strum und drang, emotional, cathartic. In one song, he can range from a whisper to a sexy growl to a rage-filled roar. I mean, let's face it...lyrics are not Trent's strong suit. Half the time, he's recycling lyrics from other songs. It's the WAY he sings it that draws me in. So that's why the monotone is not doing it for me at. all. Don't get me wrong--it's not a *bad* song. It's just kind of boring.
Anyhoo.
Meanwhile, Trent's not up to much in this video. "Don't pay me any mind...I'm just a corpse here...had nothing to do with the making of this song..."
And Mariqueen tries her best to be the SEXXXIEST possible dead person. Yuck.
Atticus does a good job at being sort of vaguely sinister:
But who the hell is this chatty blonde? Seriously? Who is this??
Well, it probably doesn't matter, since it's meant to be all David Lynch and mysterious, I guess. It's kind of a cool video, but it also sort of feels like something Marilyn Manson would do now that he's back together with Evan Rachel Wood. "We love each other so much we are BLOODY CORPSES!" Maybe this is all some allegory about Trent and MQ's feelings when they got into all those fights on Twitter.
About two minutes in, this production turns into an overserious remake of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"
But I have to admit that the effects are pretty cool.
But they should have done some movie magic on the gross feet in this video:
This band hasn't released their first EP, and there are clearly already some serious tensions within the group:
I would like to point out that when CSI Miami arrives, they're going to get the phone logs for this room, and Chatty Cathy's fingerprints are clearly on it. Horatio Caine would know just what to say.
So there you have it. Kinda cool video. Boring song. Thoughts?
Friday, May 14, 2010
Back to Work, I Guess!
So we've got a lot of cobwebs to clear out and a lot of spam comments to delete, but what the hell? Trent never stops working, even when he puts himself on hiatus, so I guess we shouldn't throw in the towel either!
This is usually where I make apologies for playing FarmVille instead of writing more frequently and covering all the concerts I see, but we don't have time. There is a lot happening, and it is HILARIOUS.
First of all, there's this great new band out...have you heard of them? How to Destroy Angels--there's this really pretty lady named Mariqueen. She's the lead singer. We've got Atticus Ross; he...um, does all the things he normally does. And then there's this other guy...well, he's way off in the back and kind of blurry. He's probably not that important.
They've released a single. It's called "A Drowning," and is available on Amazon and Itunes and inside your favorite breakfast cereals. This is the cover of the single. Isn't that a nice-looking lady?
You can hear the song here.
Hmmm. You know...it sounds awfully familiar. And this logo...it kind of reminds me of this one band I listened to a lot not too long ago...like when they did some album called "The Trip" or "The Fall" or whatnot.
Hm.
Oh, for Christ's sake--JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE TURNED YOUR BACK TO THE CAMERA DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T KNOW IT'S YOU, DUMB ASS!
Everything about this project just SCREAMS NIN--in CAPS LOCK, even; as dedicated NIN fans, we can't help but feel a little...cranky about it all. He closes up shop on Nine Inch Nails, and THIS is what he comes up with next? Something that looks and sounds EXACTLY like what he has been already doing for the past 20 years? What on earth is the point?
Look at the nice lady! Look at her! Love the nice lady! Love her now!!!!
Sigh.
Look, I've stuck with Trent through thick and thin, and I've stuck up for Mariqueen daring to marry the man, even though I really couldn't give a shit, and I have taken a LOT of verbal abuse for this from the haters. That's why I feel fully qualified to say "meh" to this entire project. If Trent is not going to give Mariqueen and Atticus their own voice (although hers is kind of bland and not so compelling...in "A Drowning" she seems to be doing a sort of Trent impression), I seriously do not see the point. This means that either he is afraid that his fans will be hostile to anything that sounds remotely new and different (which may be true, given the general idiocy of his fanbase). Or maybe he's so much of a control freak that he simply can't collaborate. Or maybe this is stuff that he was working on for NIN and shelved for whatever reason and decided to resurrect it now. (Hell, even Niggy Tardust featured some discarded music from The Fragile.) I don't know. What I do know is that for a NIN ripoff, it's not even particularly good NIN. There. I said it.
Strangely, Trent has said this:
"TR: As stated above, this EP is a very early phase of this project. Yes, it sounds more NIN-ish than I believe it will as we progress. To me, HTDA frees me from some of the constraints I've begun to feel (primarily emotionally) in NIN.
NIN is not dead and I am about to work on some material that I believe will be quite different than previous NIN very soon."
What? Why?? Why make NIN-ish music for How to Destroy Angels and then create music that sounds completely different for NIN? This makes no. sense.
At any rate, I'm still curious to see what HDA comes up with next. Because I'm sure it will be hilarious. Like their new video...which we shall tackle in another post.
Yours from the Other Side,
Maise
This is usually where I make apologies for playing FarmVille instead of writing more frequently and covering all the concerts I see, but we don't have time. There is a lot happening, and it is HILARIOUS.
First of all, there's this great new band out...have you heard of them? How to Destroy Angels--there's this really pretty lady named Mariqueen. She's the lead singer. We've got Atticus Ross; he...um, does all the things he normally does. And then there's this other guy...well, he's way off in the back and kind of blurry. He's probably not that important.
They've released a single. It's called "A Drowning," and is available on Amazon and Itunes and inside your favorite breakfast cereals. This is the cover of the single. Isn't that a nice-looking lady?
You can hear the song here.
Hmmm. You know...it sounds awfully familiar. And this logo...it kind of reminds me of this one band I listened to a lot not too long ago...like when they did some album called "The Trip" or "The Fall" or whatnot.
Hm.
Oh, for Christ's sake--JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE TURNED YOUR BACK TO THE CAMERA DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T KNOW IT'S YOU, DUMB ASS!
Everything about this project just SCREAMS NIN--in CAPS LOCK, even; as dedicated NIN fans, we can't help but feel a little...cranky about it all. He closes up shop on Nine Inch Nails, and THIS is what he comes up with next? Something that looks and sounds EXACTLY like what he has been already doing for the past 20 years? What on earth is the point?
Look at the nice lady! Look at her! Love the nice lady! Love her now!!!!
Sigh.
Look, I've stuck with Trent through thick and thin, and I've stuck up for Mariqueen daring to marry the man, even though I really couldn't give a shit, and I have taken a LOT of verbal abuse for this from the haters. That's why I feel fully qualified to say "meh" to this entire project. If Trent is not going to give Mariqueen and Atticus their own voice (although hers is kind of bland and not so compelling...in "A Drowning" she seems to be doing a sort of Trent impression), I seriously do not see the point. This means that either he is afraid that his fans will be hostile to anything that sounds remotely new and different (which may be true, given the general idiocy of his fanbase). Or maybe he's so much of a control freak that he simply can't collaborate. Or maybe this is stuff that he was working on for NIN and shelved for whatever reason and decided to resurrect it now. (Hell, even Niggy Tardust featured some discarded music from The Fragile.) I don't know. What I do know is that for a NIN ripoff, it's not even particularly good NIN. There. I said it.
Strangely, Trent has said this:
"TR: As stated above, this EP is a very early phase of this project. Yes, it sounds more NIN-ish than I believe it will as we progress. To me, HTDA frees me from some of the constraints I've begun to feel (primarily emotionally) in NIN.
NIN is not dead and I am about to work on some material that I believe will be quite different than previous NIN very soon."
What? Why?? Why make NIN-ish music for How to Destroy Angels and then create music that sounds completely different for NIN? This makes no. sense.
At any rate, I'm still curious to see what HDA comes up with next. Because I'm sure it will be hilarious. Like their new video...which we shall tackle in another post.
Yours from the Other Side,
Maise
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Trent Once Again Has Blown Up the Internet...
With vague photographic evidence of some sort of musical work taking place. The news has not only resurrected me, but it has also crashed nin.com, so I won't be able to steal said photos for this post. I can describe them as pictures of some sort of synth-looking equipment and wires...the posts are entitled "?", which pretty well describes my reaction to them. However, we all know that when Trent gets coy, he's about to unveil something new to his hungry disciples.
Fortunately for us at Places Parallel, we have the "inside track," so we can inform you all that Trent and his wife are working on a single AND a video...we can't wait to hear their gothed-up cover of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract"!
Now, I know it seems a bit cheesy, but lyrically, I can understand why they relate so well to this song:
"I like it quiet
And I love to shout
But when we get together
It just all works out...
I take it easy
Baby I get obsessed...
Nothing in common but this trust
I'm like a minus, she's like a plus
One going up, one coming down
But we seem to land on common ground
When things go wrong we make corrections
To keep things moving in the right direction
Try to fight it but I'm telling you Jack
It's useless, Opposites Attract..."
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Fortunately for us at Places Parallel, we have the "inside track," so we can inform you all that Trent and his wife are working on a single AND a video...we can't wait to hear their gothed-up cover of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract"!
Now, I know it seems a bit cheesy, but lyrically, I can understand why they relate so well to this song:
"I like it quiet
And I love to shout
But when we get together
It just all works out...
I take it easy
Baby I get obsessed...
Nothing in common but this trust
I'm like a minus, she's like a plus
One going up, one coming down
But we seem to land on common ground
When things go wrong we make corrections
To keep things moving in the right direction
Try to fight it but I'm telling you Jack
It's useless, Opposites Attract..."
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Part 2: Aaaaand, I'm Back!
Bonus IM transcript from the other night:
(because it's fucking funny)
_________________________
Maise: Holy shit...they put up a signed, smashed NIN guitar for charity, and the current bid is $2500!
Iris: Whoa!
Maise: Oh barf, I think Aaron North signed this one.
Iris: Meh
Maise: It's kind of adorable how Trent draws the little NIN logo. Like, "Yeah, it's still an awesome logo."
Iris: lol. Can I just say I hate how he does it though.
I know you're in a rush TR, but would it kill you to make the box a proper rectangle? What's this rounded edges and random line shooting off?
Maise: LOL. It would be like if I tried to do it.
Iris: Well but after thousands and thousands of autographs I'd think he'd have it down by now.
Draw an L, draw another L. BAM! Rectangle.
But I suppose even that would be hard since he holds his autographing pens like he's got a monkey fist.
Maise: LOLOLOLOL! I didn't notice.
Iris: Did you ever see the video of him signing the first Ghosts package?
Maise: That's right. I'm really unobservant.
Iris: Not me man. I watched that a bunch of times. Like "aww...look at him signing MY copy!" ;)
Maise: LOLOLOLOL
Iris: I wish you had sound on your computer because that sigh he does as he reaches for the first book is just so loaded with meaning.
"-sigh- It's going to be a long fucking day."
Maise: Who taught him how to hold a pen?
He wasn't taught by nuns, I'll tell you that much. LOL
Iris: I'm telling you! MONKEY FIST!
Maise: What a weird way to hold a pen!
Iris: He holds it between his first finger and middle finger instead of first finger and thumb. Try writing anything like that. It feels so weird!
Maise: But vertically too.
Iris: And explains his penmanship so much.
Maise: I'm trying to recreate how he does this. He doesn't use his index finger at all. He writes with his thumb only. With the pen resting on the middle finger, I think.
That is WEIRD! The index finger curls around and doesn't do anything.It kind of does make you write like him a bit.
I don't know how he doesn't wind up with the marker all over his hand
Iris: lol. How many extra views did we just add to that video watching how he holds a pen?
Maise: No more than the girls who watch it in order to lick the screen.
(because it's fucking funny)
_________________________
Maise: Holy shit...they put up a signed, smashed NIN guitar for charity, and the current bid is $2500!
Iris: Whoa!
Maise: Oh barf, I think Aaron North signed this one.
Iris: Meh
Maise: It's kind of adorable how Trent draws the little NIN logo. Like, "Yeah, it's still an awesome logo."
Iris: lol. Can I just say I hate how he does it though.
I know you're in a rush TR, but would it kill you to make the box a proper rectangle? What's this rounded edges and random line shooting off?
Maise: LOL. It would be like if I tried to do it.
Iris: Well but after thousands and thousands of autographs I'd think he'd have it down by now.
Draw an L, draw another L. BAM! Rectangle.
But I suppose even that would be hard since he holds his autographing pens like he's got a monkey fist.
Maise: LOLOLOLOL! I didn't notice.
Iris: Did you ever see the video of him signing the first Ghosts package?
Maise: That's right. I'm really unobservant.
Iris: Not me man. I watched that a bunch of times. Like "aww...look at him signing MY copy!" ;)
Maise: LOLOLOLOL
Iris: I wish you had sound on your computer because that sigh he does as he reaches for the first book is just so loaded with meaning.
"-sigh- It's going to be a long fucking day."
Maise: Who taught him how to hold a pen?
He wasn't taught by nuns, I'll tell you that much. LOL
Iris: I'm telling you! MONKEY FIST!
Maise: What a weird way to hold a pen!
Iris: He holds it between his first finger and middle finger instead of first finger and thumb. Try writing anything like that. It feels so weird!
Maise: But vertically too.
Iris: And explains his penmanship so much.
Maise: I'm trying to recreate how he does this. He doesn't use his index finger at all. He writes with his thumb only. With the pen resting on the middle finger, I think.
That is WEIRD! The index finger curls around and doesn't do anything.It kind of does make you write like him a bit.
I don't know how he doesn't wind up with the marker all over his hand
Iris: lol. How many extra views did we just add to that video watching how he holds a pen?
Maise: No more than the girls who watch it in order to lick the screen.
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