You know, I feel like in the midst of all the brouhaha, I've really come to terms with Trent's impending marriage. I know that many of our newer readers have not, so keep in mind that *all* personal attacks on the happy couple or Iris and me will be swiftly deleted. (sigh)
Anyway...
So Trent is 11 years older than me, and he has a lot more life experience than me. He knows a lot more about music and world travel and fame and what it's like to have a few million dollars. But one thing that I do know more about is marriage, having participated in the institution for nearly nine years now. So my engagement gift to Trent is to pass on some of the wisdom that I have gained all this time through trial and error.
Today I will pass on the first and foremost and most critical lesson for anyone getting married: LEARN WHEN TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT.
This, I think, is the most difficult of all intimate relationship skills to master, but it is also the most valuable. Learning when to keep your fucking mouth shut can prevent bitter arguments or at least keep arguments from escalating. Now, some couples enjoy having blow-out fights on a regular basis, but I am not one of those. So learning when to keep my fucking mouth shut has really helped to keep the peace between Mr. Maise and me.
Some examples:
One of the things that drives me nuts about Mr. Maise is when he has a temper tantrum related to inanimate objects. (You hear me on this, Mariqueen?) Mr. Maise starts to get all shouty about home improvement projects or video games, and my blood pressure just skyrockets. My natural impulse at these times is to say something like, "Well, if the video game is stressing you out that fucking much, maybe you should turn it off for a while!" But that's when his anger at inanimate objects turns into anger at me, and then we both start shouting at each other, and doors slam, and we have to seethe silently for a while, then eventually someone will say something innocuous to try to make up. And these spats are occasionally inevitable, but if I just keep my fucking mouth shut at these times, his anger at inanimate objects passes more quickly than would his anger at me, so we don't have to waste a nice evening pouting.
Last night was the perfect example of when to keep one's fucking mouth shut. I was tidying up the kitchen while Mr. Maise was cooking. When Mr. Maise started to scrutinize my dishwasher-loading technique, I responded with severe aggravation, "Fine! God!" Then he snapped, "What?!" Then I shouted, "STOP MICROMANAGING ME!!!!" Then we had a few moments of annoyed silence, and the fight was over. But that was because Mr. Maise wisely kept his fucking mouth shut at that moment. Later, when we were both feeling more amiable, he chuckled to himself and admitted that at the moment I exclaimed, "STOP MICROMANAGING ME!" he wanted to reply, "But you're not doing it right!" If he had said that at that precise moment, this could all have ended in a stabbing. Instead, we had a good laugh about how a long marriage teaches you to censor yourself at critical moments.
Now, keeping your fucking mouth shut is not a panacea for all of a relationship's challenges. There are times when it's actually very important to open your fucking mouth about something. Like with sex complaints. Or if your spouse is about to be run over in the street by a runaway semi. It's knowing WHEN to speak that's the trickiest part...and the most important.
I'm sure there will be more installments in this series...does anyone else have any constructive relationship tips?
Here at Places Parallel, although a dangerous NIN obsession is our bread and butter, we also like to report on other bands as well.
One of my lifelong favorites, Depeche Mode, was in the news lately for unfortunate reasons. Lead singer, Dave Gahan is currently hospitalized in Athens. I saw earlier news reports that called his condition "gastroenteritis," but according to this report, no one is saying what is wrong with him. So I certainly hope that it's not serious and that Dave recovers quickly. After all, we are looking forward to seeing him and DM at Lolla this August.
Although it may just be the latest manifestation of the mysterious "Ro Curse" on Depeche Mode. During their last tour, Ro and I and another friend had tickets to a show at the Allstate Arena, but sadly, Ro couldn't attend the show due to a sudden death in the family. Then the next time they were scheduled to appear in Chicago, Ro got tickets and eagerly awaited the show. The day of the show, she discovered that the gig had been cancelled due to Dave Gahan's contracting laryngitis. A few days later, it was announced that the show would not be rescheduled.
Now the new tour is underway, and Ro purchased her Lollapalooza 3-day pass and is eagerly awaiting Depeche Mode as the final headliner. And now Dave Gahan is hospitalized? Mere coincidence? Hmmmm...
At any rate, here is the official DM announcement on Dave's condition.
Mainly I want to get a new post up here in case NIN fans still need to express their grief. I really, really, really would prefer to discuss something else, however. I'm just lacking in material. Like Depeche Mode's new album, for example, which I still have to get.
So...yeah. I'll work on that.
In the meantime, I'm on Twitter! I realized that I need to stop tweeting Trent Reznor as my real fucking self, and I would love to friend all of you who are currently using it. So look for me here.
Meanwhile, any suggestions on new posts? I need a muse.
The Hindenburg. The Titanic. The attack on Pearl Harbor. The day Trent Reznor got en...I can't even say it.
Look, people, I don't know what's what. I just got back from Hawaii with a sunburn and a stye on my right eyelid, and I swam with sharks and did all kinds of cool things. I come back to read a lot of inane Twittering, Trent wanting to beat people up by the flagpole at 3, Anonymi spouting hatred over shit that's really none of their business...
Oh wait, that's right...Trent Reznor's personal life is NONE of our business!
So it's not being discussed here. Nothing to see, people. Move along. If you start getting nasty and personal, you will be swiftly deleted, as was always the rule around these parts. God knows I don't need Trent trying to PHYSICALLY find me. Also, news and gossip of this nature interferes with my personal delusions, so I'm just going to ignore it.
Besides, we've always had plenty to discuss in the past without debating the merits of those in personal relationships with Trent: his music, his concerts, his online crabbiness, his killer fashion sense, how much Billy Corgan sucks, JR's job and fountain pop, Dan's favorite thrash bands, other random shit. Let's get to it.
So I'm coming out of blogger hibernation because it's time once again for me to castigate my former hero, Billy Corgan. I don't *enjoy* calling him out constantly, but he makes it impossible not to do so!
In fact, I was actually feeling somewhat sympathetic to him after he posted a rambling explanation as to why he was going to continue working as a Smashing Pumpkin after even his right-hand man Jimmy Chamberlain jumped ship.
Well, this is the part I found kind of touching anyway, if you ignore the normal Billy pretentiousness:
"I appreciate that for many fans, the public part of my musical journey has often been quite confusing. I've tried to explain many times in both public and private venues that it's really not so different than a character on tv who embodies the role they are in. I don't think there is anything inauthentic about my play-acting within those created personas (zero, the whyte spider, the sad guy, the vampyre, etc) and acting them out on the grand stage in front of the glare of whoever cares. That to me IS what rock and roll is about. But many lack the sophistication to appreciate that just because I play a baby-faced killa upon the darkened stage that it doesn't come close to who I really am. I would point very gently to the diversity and complexity of my artistic work to give you some sense of who Billy Corgan really is (that is a joking 3rd person by the way). Part-alien, part-human, part-robot, part-star-crossed lover and part-mercury filled apparently if one was to read the songs in that way. I am a sensitive soul and I make no apologies for that. As Popeye said, 'I yam who I yam'. Or in my case maybe it's 'I am who I ain't.'"
And I mean, maybe this is all just more of Billy and his persecution complex, but as someone who has been criticizing him steadily since like, oh, 2006 or so, I can understand his frustration when people mistake the public image for the real person. If this frustration stems from his recently bitching at his audience during the Smashing Pumpkins anniversary shows, well, that's a problem all of his own making. Sure, that could be part of a "character" or "onstage persona," but it's just fucking stupid to start yelling at your biggest fans. In fact, in the same rambling blog post, he has this groundbreaking revelation:
"My wish is that from this day forward this group will represent nothing but love and light. If you see BC out there griping, it is only because I have failed to set the proper conditions to be in the love and light with you. The fan is NOT responsible in any way, shape, or form for my happiness or the my ability to do my job. (Nor have they ever been) If I have given that impression to any of you through the years I am sorry about that. That was an error on my part. When a fan comes to an SP show we owe it to you to put on the best show possible, rain or shine. I believe the days of standing on a stage somewhere in the world feeling torn about why I am up there are over. SP will be about peace from this day forward as well. The music WILL also reflect this shift in devotion and humble gratitude. You shall see!"
Well, gee, thanks Billy...that's quite a load off of my shoulders, as a fan. Okay, so my sympathy for him only goes so far. But I will say this: obviously, my criticism of Billy is criticism of the Rock Star and the Public Image and the Businessman and not the real, personal Billy who probably likes puppies and ice cream and who may just do nice things for strangers when no one is looking. That's how it is with anyone we write about on this site, even when it almost feels like we know that person. Because we don't.
But it's not like I don't have enough material with Billy The Rock Star and Public Image. In fact, he seems to be doing all he can to trash his own public image. I'm not even angry about it anymore, as a fan. I guess now I'm more curious...like, what is going on with Billy these days? Does he have a gambling addiction? An expensive blow habit? Why is he making everything about money, to the detriment of his own dignity and at risk of screwing over his biggest fans?
(Oh, and if you check out the Stereogum link above, you'll see a classic picture of Billy with Tila Tequila. Classy!)
To wit:
So after scorning bands who sell their best songs to advertising agencies, Billy has recently done just that, and I'm sure we've all seen the Visa commerical featuring "Today." Actually, I'm not all that riled up about this. Sure, sure, he explained his decision to refuse to sell "Today" for a commercial in this way:
"The record company's literally begging me: go ahead and take these commercials. At this point in my life, I don't feel comfortable. Those songs are the reason I'm alive. If your music is not sacred to the point where it's a really, really, really heavy decision about whether or not you would allow somebody else to exploit it, then what's not for sale?"
But, really, this is what every single rock star says before every single rock star winds up selling his/her songs for a commerical.
So, honestly, I could care less about that, but when you examine the Visa commercial in conjunction with every other terrible decision he's made recently, it all seems to be part of a disturbing pattern.
What terrible decisions, you may ask? Well, this one, for example:
Sure, Billy, we all liked The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke. That does NOT mean you need to start shilling for the WWE looking like Eminem with spoken-word renditions of your former hits. "You're still just a rat in a six-sided steel cage!"
And last night, I received this email from The Smashing Pumpkin, wherein he announced a subscription service. Now, I think subscription services are fine for the hardcore fans who want exclusive content, ticket presale opportunities, memorabilia, whatever. But of course, Billy has to announce a subscription service that would screw over the ones who love him most. Check out his plans, dependent of course on the interest he generates:
All of the details on this project are not concrete yet, but some information has all ready been provided.
$40 for 12 weeks. A minimum of 5 updates from the studio per week, so that's 60 updates for $40. Updates would be posted in a less-than-24-hour consistency. For instance, if something happened on Monday, it would be posted no later than Tuesday Each update would be a minimum of 5 minutes in length. That would mean subscribers would receive at least 25 minutes of unique audio/video material per week, and at least 5 hours over the course of the 12 weeks. There is a possibility of live streaming video content in addition to what has been presented above.
Wait a minute...$40 for 12 weeks?! Meaning that if you had the inclination to sign up for another 12 weeks, that's another $40? Meaning that if you really loved Billy THAT much, you'd be paying him around $160 a year? We are in a recession! Is he mad? I don't even see that you get a t-shirt out of the deal!
It is certainly not my place to tell Billy Corgan that he has enough money. But I don't understand why he is allowing himself to flame out like this, when he has a large enough fanbase to comfortably pay his bills for the foreseeable future as long as he refrains from abusing us and gives us a fair shake.
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. I'm going to try to put together another post before the husband and I leave for Hawaii on Saturday, but no promises!
Well it's been another couple of weeks and a whole lotta nothing is still going on but I thought I'd drop back in to share what's been entertaining me thus far this weekend.
Trent's Digg Dialog interview You can watch it as a whole here:
Or they've convienently split it up into the individual sections by question. Several questions were pertaining to the NIN business model / distribution methods, which I would normally be all over because the "how do they do that" facinates me, but I've got an attention span of a gnat these days and this interview is 40 minutes long. He gives good arms though. For those of you who would rather just skip to the good parts I recommend checking out "most embarrassing song on your ipod" and "is there tension between Rob and JMJ on Scientology". Oh and the "what are your favorite video games" just because Mr. Iris has turned me into a bit of a gamer.
Josh Freese's $20,000 solo album So on March 24th, Josh Freese released his solo album called "Since 1972" along with a crazy pricing scheme. What's even crazier though is that one fan with too much disposable income / allowance bought the $20,000 version which included such things as "Maynard James Keenan, Mark Mothersbaugh from DEVO and I take you miniature golfing," "I write 2 songs about you," and "Drum lesson OR foot and back massage". No doubt it would be a pretty awesome experience but doesn't this kid know there's a recession going on? I contemplated the $50 version which included a personal phone call from Josh but decided to settle for the sensible $15 copy. What would I really have to say to Josh Fucking Freese anyway? Don't be weird about it? I do have a Twitter friend who opted for the $250 copy and had lunch with the man and his girlfriend. I'm trying to get here to share her experience here with us.
Indigneous: "Broken Lands"
I bought the latest album from one of my very favorite blues-rock bands, Indigneous, and have had it on non-stop repeat all. day. long. If you're not listening to this, you should be. I've followed this band for several years but I'm always hesitant to buy new albums from them. I have three and I've loved each individual one so intensely that I'm always afraid that their next one will hit that sour note or that their sound will change just enough that it won't move me. So far, thank God, my fears have been unfounded. Mato Nanji's voice is just so smooth and it absolutely slays me along with his guitar-playing. Here's a live recording of "Come On Home" from their previous album, "Chasing the Sun". The quality is a little rough but still... *swoon*
If things work out I just might be seeing them here in a few months. Fingers crossed!
That about wraps things up for me. What has everyone else been up to?
