Aaaaand, I'm Back!

First off, no, I'm not dead. Just took a bit of extended leave. A girl's allowed a break every now and then. Hopefully this is the start of making my way back on here more regularly. I know I've still got a TON of videos and pictures to edit and a show review to write up, but I will get to them. Eventually.

Anyhow, what brings me out of the woodwork this evening, believe it or not, is Marilyn Manson. It started out innocently enough when Maise and I started talking about MM's recent revelation that he is dating Evan Rachel Wood again. And well it went downhill from there to the recent music video he released, but it was kind of funny so we decided to "live blog" it for our always patient readers.

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Maise: OMFG! Marilyn Manson is claiming that he's back together with Evan Rachel Wood.

Iris: I saw that! WTF is she thinking?

Maise: She was rumored to be dating fucking TRUE BLOOD ERIC! How the fuck do you fuck that up and wind up back with Marilyn Manson?????

Iris: Or! (dunt-dunt-dunt!) Is he lying?

Maise: Perhaps. He is totally fucked in the head with drugs. I'm sure he lies all the time.

Iris: If she is back with him then she was probably all "...but he needs me. I can fix him."

Maise: And MM just made a video where he beats an Evan lookalike to death. Charming!

(Be warned. The end of the video is NSFW.)

Iris: Up to that point it's the most boring. video. ever. I heard about it and thought I'd check it out. I watched the first few minutes and I was like "okay...when's it happening, when's it happening?"

Maise: Yeah, I'm waiting to watch it now. [Note: Maise's computer has no sound currently]

You mean, that doesn't even happen in the beginning?

Iris: No, he doesn't really start getting her until the end. I skipped part of the middle though so she might appear earlier too.

Maise: Awwww, at 00:16, he's a sad, sad clown.

Wow, this is a boring ass video.

It's like 00:51, and he's just standing there.

Iris: Trust me. Even with music, it isn't much better.

Maise: Shockingly, he's kind of not super ugly in this. I mean, he's not good-looking by any means, but the makeup is a little more understated.

God, if I paused this video, it would be the same as watching it. 2:fucking 30, and he's still moping with the curtain.

Iris: You'll have to listen to it tomorrow at work. I don't know why he's constantly gotta have his vocals on wah-wah synth pitch.

Maise: LOL. Probably because he has a shitty singing voice.

Iris: Well if he really wants to shock me then he should do an acoustic number.

Maise: With no makeup.

Iris: Whoa...baby steps, man, baby steps.

Maise: An acoustic number wherein he finds Jesus after all these years.

Iris: LOL

Maise: Okay...You weren't kidding about this being the most boring video ever.

Iris: And there's 6 minutes of it.

Maise: Must have been pretty cheap to make, at least.

Oh, now we're sort of getting to the ERW part.

Iris: I'll bet it was self-shot in his bathroom with his shower curtain and some black candles in the background ala Chris Crocker style.

Maise: LOLOLOL! OMG, he totally looks like Chris Crocker in his sad clown scenes.

Now we're in horror movie vision.

What's with the tie?

Actually, wardrobe wise, I think that's a good look.

Iris: Yeah, I like the leather glove when he signs his slam book.

Maise: Ugh, who would allow themselves to be beaten to death by that sad little mime?

Iris: "Dear diary, Evan Rachel Wood has RUINED my life."

Maise: LOL. Well, this video is both boring AND grody, but it wasn't quite as explicitly violent as I was expecting. Wouldn't have me running back to date him, though.

"I'm sorry, Alexander Skarsgaard, I must leave your HOT ass to return to Marilyn Manson who makes videos about murdering me."

Can you believe he's got both Twiggy AND Vrenna working with him?

OMG, this interview! Manson broke up with Interscope, isn't that a surprise?

Iris: “Yeah, I think it will be more badass , I think it’s going to be more romantic maybe. Self abusive.”

Gawd!

Maise: Okay, the only ones who think cutting is shocking any more are Manson and sixth-grade girls.

By means of comparison...

Now that is how you do the sexxxy violence.

Iris: Okay, GAWD DAMN!!! That grin! That is badass! Not "I'm a sad clown posing with my shower curtain and oh yeah, I beat up my ex girlfriend."

Maise: Exactly.

God I LOVE his character SO MUCH! There is this scene in the second series where he says "trust me" to Sookie, and it is the hottest thing EVER said on film.

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From there it just digressed further into the hotness that is Alexander Skarsgaard as Eric Northman. I'll spare you for now but I can't guarantee the same for the comments section.

Reunited and It Feels So Good

From Marilyn Manson's myspace:

The duo that started it all, are back together to finish where they left off. The two who co-wrote "Antichrist Superstar," "Mechanical Animals," and "Holywood" will be sharing the stage once again.

Joining Manson and Twiggy onstage for the U.S. leg of the Rape of the World Tour will be Chris Vrenna, Rob Holliday, and Ginger Fish. Tim Skold has amicably split with Manson, but future collaborations aren't being ruled out between the two.

Expectations for the upcoming tour are best described by quoting one of Manson's most infamous lyrics, "Everyone will suffer now". Looks like the shit is gonna hit the FANS.

Great. That's just great, Jeordie. You're out of Trent's band for like 5 minutes and you're back in Manson's arms? Ah...well...maybe some good can come of this. Like shaving your eyebrows and ditching that shaggy, mullet-esque haircut you've been sporting for the past few years.

Honestly the time spent with El Rezzo really hasn't been Twiggy's most fashionable era. The hair, the matching outfits, the vapid stare on and off stage (are we sure he's off drugs?) just hasn't been all that interesting. But I think we can all agree here that back in the day dude looked cute in a dress.

Well maybe not always.

But his willingness to dork out with Star Wars has always been endearing. Whoops! I see your panties! Yes, ladies, I admit I kind of had a soft spot for Twiggy back when no one knew better. Any of you out there willing to admit it or am I in my own private Idaho here?

Perhaps it's a bit superficial to only think of style choices here on their "grand reunion" but really, does anyone actually listen to Manson anymore?

(stay tuned for the upcoming Dresden Dolls concert review by Maise.
For those wanting a sneak peek, look here.)

Hello again!

Okay, so I know it's been pretty quiet around here lately, and for that, I blame myself. Here's the deal, kids. I'm working a second part-time job--working with THE YOUTH...how noble is that?--and although it's a fun gig, and the extra cash is pretty sweet, the downside is, I am exhausted. Plus, because I have less spare time these days, I actually have to get real work done during the day at my main office. But, never fear, I'm going to do my part to keep our little haven of music, commentary, and incessant shit-talking alive. I just needed some time to adjust.

Fortunately, absolutely nothing interesting is going on in the world of music.

But I did learn something interesting yesterday. You know that horrible, whiny emo ballad, "Hey there, Delilah" by the Plain White T's? It's been torturing me as of late because it's on the radio every five minutes, I hate it, and yet I always manage to get it stuck in my head for hours on end. The lead singer has that Generic Emo White Boy voice, and the lyrics could only be written by some obnoxious, arrogant 21 year old who knows nothing of life or love. I normally would devote NO space to this song, only I learned yesterday that the lead singer never actually had a relationship with the Delilah in question, which kind of puts a weird stalker-ish spin on the song for me now.

I mean, so a guy writes a whiny love ballad to try to get laid. Nothing new, right? But what's interesting is that he's not writing the love ballad from the perspective of "You're so beautiful, and I want to get laid," or "You're so beautiful, and I want to get laid, but you've got a boyfriend, so I'll bemoan my unrequited love." He's writing this song from the perspective of some kind of long-term, long-distance entirely imaginary relationship. "Hey there, Delilah, you be good and don't you miss me..." "Um, okay, I won't." It's so delusional, I almost like it. Except I hate it.

In other, completely unrelated news...could this be the single most unappetizing beverage ever made?

Nauseating Celebrity Profiles #1: Marilyn Manson, Spin, June 2007

Slate recently ran a highly amusing article entitled "The Worst Celebrity Profile Ever Written?", regarding a particularly fawning Esquire profile of Angelina Jolie, who was dubbed no less than "the best woman in the world" therein. But the completely besotted author of that article is certainly not alone in giving the rich and famous written blowjobs in national publications, and today we will discuss Jonathan Ames' "Return of the Living Dead," an ass-kissing interview with Marilyn Manson that caused me to nearly lose my tall nonfat Starbucks chai just now. (Spin, June 2007 issue)

First of all, I have to say that maybe Evan Rachel Wood isn't all that bad for Manson. He's looking pretty good in these photos (for him, anyway), and he's working a nice gothemo haircut (kind of My Chemical Romance-y). He's still wearing makeup, but he's not trying to be as purposely fugly these days. Nice job.

I should probably add the disclaimer here that although I think Manson's been kind of an underachiever as of late, I am a fan of much of his work, especially Portrait of an American Family, Antichrist Superstar, and especially Mechanical Animals. To be honest, I was rather relieved that Manson wasn't going to play the role of "I'm so angst-filled that I'm Satan" forever. I've not been terribly impressed by anything he's produced since then (although Golden Age of the Grotesque had some fun ditties), and his most recent video, "Heart-Shaped Glasses," wherein he gets into some very compromising positions with the young Miss Wood REEKS of midlife-crisis desperation. But I'm digressing. My point is, I'm not predisposed to dislike a feature article about Marilyn Manson, but I wouldn't be inclined to suck his metaphorical or actual cock either.

So basically Jonathan Ames hangs out at Marilyn Manson's place, gets drunk and high with Manson despite Ames' misgivings regarding his own "mental problems and mild liver problems," and apparently feels REALLY REALLY cool hanging out with Manson, which he proceeds to tell us all about.

"A few hours later, the sun is up and I pull into a gas station on my way to the airport. As I pay for the gas at the register, I see that amid the display of magazines is a copy of Penthouse with Dita Von Teese on the cover. The coverline reads: SEE WHAT MANSON'S MISSING. This is too strange. I buy Penthouse for the first time in probably 25 years, but I feel a little embarrassed and try to explain my purchase to the cashier, 'I know him. Marilyn Manson.' 'Really?' the cashier responds."

Well, shit, color me impressed.

In this article, we are told that Manson is a romantic, which is his most endearing quality and also that "His face is sweet, and his eyes, without his usual colored contacts, are kindly." So forgive me if I feel like I've stumbled into some Goth edition of Teen Beat. The author also leaves statements from Manson like "people would say that drugs and alcohol wrecked my marriage. But buyer beware," curiously unchallenged. He's too busy getting drunk on absinthe (ooh, scary! atmospheric! probably not as hallucinogenic as Ames thinks!) to ask any provocative questions like, oh, why do you continue to hide behind the makeup? What's the status on this Alice in Wonderland horror pic of yours? Does your nihilism in 2007 make you irrelevant? Why are you letting Evan Rachel Wood commit career suicide by starring with you in what is possibly the worst video ever made? Okay, maybe you don't think these questions are any better than "What are your sexual fetishes?", but I'm not getting paid by Spin to come up with them either.

Fortunately for Ames, Manson manages to come up with a few bon mots (I've always been a fan of his dry humor) and impart some interesting information along the way. Maybe it's because in a former life, he too was a journalist, but Manson truly is the reason that this article doesn't completely suck. For example, we learn that "Whenever someone wants to act like they really know me, they call me Brian. But not even the people I sodomize--and I'm not saying I sodomize Evan--call me Brian." This, after Lars Ulrich approaches him with "Hi, Brian." Hee! Manson also claims that Eminem asked him to sing on his first album, but Manson thought it was too misogynistic. "It was the one about killing his girlfriend and putting her in a trunk. It was on a record I could listen to, but it was too over-the-top for me to associate with. It didn't represent where I was at. First of all, I don't drive. And I wouldn't put a girl in a trunk; that's where I keep other stuff."

Oh, and WTC fans who keep score of these kinds of things? Manson claims he has no beef with Trent, but they don't talk. He also says, "He may be very muscular right now, but I'm a much more dangerous person." Hm.

So yeah, in conclusion, you would think that Marilyn Manson would be the one celebrity you could be a little blase about, but Jonathan Ames doesn't see it that way. After all, when the man you're interviewing exclaims, "I'm your number one fan! I also had a hairbrush put up my ass once!", you know you're talking to someone special.