Dear Trent,
Deirdre here. I've been... well, let's say "out of commission" for awhile now, but I felt like it was time for the former president of the Girls Who Love Trent Club to come forward and say a few words in view of it being the end of the road for Nine Inch Nails, and your impending nuptials and the way you're so hassled by haters these days.
Fucking haters. Seriously. Where do these (apparently often fat) bitches get off? Don't they know that if they really, really loved you, like I do, they could never do anything but wish you joy in all your future endeavors? I've never actually seen or heard what kinds of things these members of "the community" have to say, but I just think you should know that not all girls who love you are hateful, plus-size lying whores; or for that matter, would even be WILLING to fuck you if you offered, let alone saddling up and then telling the whole internets about (real or fictional) cocks-of-rock cowboy stories. Some of us girls who love you (and have known the self-righteous hatertude of all the people who are so much better at being NIN fans than we ever were, since they are serious people who don't love you, and know all about synths and shit) have only ever wished you all the love in the world and a lifetime of satisfying work.
What I'm trying to say, Sparklepants, is remember back in the salad days of wearingthesechains.com when I told you that my love would always be true, that my heart would always throb your name, and that you'd always be inside me, like, forever? Well, nothing has changed; it's still true, and shall ever be. I'll always remember the times when your awesome rockshow spoke it's secret language to me, making me stronger and better able to be me without compromising, and helped me fight on, just like I'll never forget the way you brought new meaning to the words "Jesus motherfucking Christ, that guy is smoking hot, look at his TEETH!"
But, does that mean, as some might ask, that now I must mourn the fact that you have found love, and can't keep it in? Did I rend my garments upon learning that you are officially off the market, and that love now calls YOU to shout it from the rooftops? Of course not! I mean, let's face it: wherever you were ON the market, I never shopped there, but more importantly, my dear, dear Trent, I love to hear it! It makes me feel closer to you than ever before because finally: you know how I felt about you.
Just let me know, darling, if you want me to give you away at the wedding. I'm ready!
Love and kisses forever and ever,
Dierdre
PS. Regarding the haters who apparently speak louder than all the love: go home and meditate or something, baby; they aren't worth the angst. Fuck 'em!
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33 comments:
Oh, Deirdre, if only Trent had picked you, I'm sure the NIN community would have been MUCH more accepting of the whole thing.
Good to have you back, btw. I've missed you!
nice post, love the word 'hatertude', makes me feel all fuzzy inside AND desiring to turn off Twitter too. Bring on the love
From now on I'm going to walk the high road too
I'm just glad that Trent has finally realized how annoying his fans are. I mean SERIOUSLY dude -- it took you long enough.
i had missed you!
when i look back on wtc, i grin sheepishly. that site was excrutiatingly hilarious. i loved it!
totally random hit.
I don't know why I just thought of this, but it always makes me laugh. I remember checking out Metal Sludge a long time ago, and they had this page where groupies could dish on their encounters with various rock stars. Of one of the rock stars (not Trent), they claimed that he had a penis with a length of 7 inches and a girth of 7 inches. He had a SQUARE! A SQUARE penis! Also, this groupie claimed he liked to go at girls from behind. Just imagine--a SQUARE coming at you from behind! God!
Can we talk about the fun aspects of Trent's wedding now?
How many bridesmaids do you think there will be?
What do you think their colors will be?
Who will be groomsmen?
Will MQ be a bridezilla, or will Trent be a groomzilla?
White stretch limo, or horse and carriage?
Oh, so many things to decide.
That is fun!
Trent will be the groomzilla for sure. Their colors will be black and green. Groomsmen will be whoever Trent hasn't fired at the moment. And they will be drawn in a carriage pulled by about 50 greyhounds, which means that they will accelerate really quickly and then come to a sudden stop to sniff some grass and then pause for about 20 minutes while the dogs take a nap...
They may have to halt proceedings though when trent takes exception to something twittered to him and spends 20 whole minutes berating them
Yeah, that's highly likely, as the ceremony will be conducted on Twitter:
internet_certified_minister: @trent_reznor @mariqueen Do u take this man to b yr lawfully wedded husband?
mariqueen: @trent_reznor @internet_certified_minister i do
ninfan4ever: Boo hoo, its so beautiful!
ninhater4ever: @trent_reznor @mariqueen U suck!
internet_certified_minister: @trent_reznor @mariqueen Is there anyone who wishes to object to these two being joined in marriage?
ninhater4ever: @trent_reznor @mariqueen @internet_certified_minister I do! I do!
trent_reznor: @ninhater4ever U fat pig internet LOSER, DIE, DIE, DIE
ninfan4ever: Hey, I'm fat too...
trent_reznor: Of course, I'm not talking to the rest of YOU. Plz proceed.
internet_certified_minister: @trent_reznor @mariqueen I now pronounce you man and wife.
internet_certified_minister: @trent_reznor @mariqueen u may now kiss the bride
mariqueen: twitpic!
That was just hilarious maise, great way to start a day of work.
I have been thinking long and hard about Reznor telling women they are fat and to kill themselves. Does he not realize in this day and age, the wrong person could read his message and did try to kill themselves? Reznor would have one hell of a lawsuit. Hmmm maybe TR should take his own advice- weight loss & death now that he has 3 chins.
I have seen photos of Maise, Iris, JR & Dierdra and I have to say Reznor describes you women to a T, yet you keep going back to him like some abused woman. You think he would at least treat the couple of fans he has left with a little respect. It's one thing to have a misunderstanding but then being rude about it and telling your fans they are fat, to kill themselves, and to harass other people online is totally unnecessary.
Iris, you would have done yourself a better service by taking the money you spent on the Eric charity and gotten yourself a good hair cut, makeover, and some modern clothing. I saw your photo on Twitter and was surprised. Respect yourselves women! Oh, and the woman on here with the 2/3 jobs working their ass off and giving money to this charity event/concert: get your head together cause in 8 yrs. you will look back and think "how dumb was that". Giving hard earned money in a recession to a millionaire in Bev. Hills who doesn't give a damn about you! I saw that photo of Iris and Reznor and he looked like he wanted to get the hell away from you, yet you kiss his ass. Have none of you women ever met anyone really famous? You would know the difference because most famous people are kind & grateful when meeting fans.
Most people with some intelligence and industry knowledge would have ruled against the Eric charity event since it left too many open questions. Now, he won't get a heart. His sister even said in her morning show weeks ago that there were 1000 people on the transplant wait list and the Dr. said he was 2 yrs. too late. Now, what happens to the cool one million?
Btw, I am not fat, nor unattractive, nor a self abuser, nor in love w/TR, nor a stalker, nor on NIN.com, ETS, or Metal Sludge. I used to read WTC back in the day when Trent had a mind and WTC was witty & funny. Now, Reznor has made me rethink all of the wasted time I spent on WTC.
Erm, anonymous there isn't a picture of iris and TR that I can see - in fact if you actually read instead of just coming in, spewing forth and fucking off again, you would have read they didn't get 'individual' pics with TR - it was a group thing. Also seems to me the only person making personal comments about anyone's weight and appearance is YOU - what right have you got to accuse anyone here of being unattractive because they aren't - actually why do I fucking bother?
It's like talking to a wall
Actually it just occurred to me that maybe the anonymii is the infamous 'Dom' of WTC fame?
Wow, Anonymous, you're right. With your intimate knowledge of my checkbook, you've shown me the light--I really shouldn't be giving out any money to charity. Hopefully you'll help me keep better tabs on my spending from now on...
And now Trent twitters: Is it bad that I want to go home already after one show in Europe?
Jesus, it isn't like anyone is forcing him. Sometimes I think he's on a one-man mission to make everyone hate him! Stop whining Trent.
Anonymous, a tip - I've been bored with TR for years now. I just come around here for the witty conversation.
And all I really care about is whether the wedding is going to be black tie or white tie.
What I think is hilarious is that I KNEW Trent would start getting crabby when he hit the Europe leg of his tour. He hates European festivals...I don't know why he signed up for them again. Iris figured that he's probably just trying to really convince himself that he's done touring.
Trent is mental, I don't know why you heffers still like the homo. Now, he's calling you fans out like a stunned gun. He's blown his mind, so move on, since there's nothing left to see from him. He's a BITTER OLD HATER.
Hey anonymous - have you thought of applying for some sort of Middle East diplomacy role in Barack Obama's government?
Deirdre, are you being sarcastic? You are what mid-30s now? Living in Europe and agreeing with Reznor's brat rant? Esp. since he bitched about Europe recently. Real cool Deirdre. Did you re-name your french fries - Freedom Fries too?
How does Trent Reznor know that Metal Sludge is populated mainly by "unattractive plump females"? Are there other websites we should know about and avoid that are populated by "unattractive plump females"? Should we banish fat girls now that they broke the internet? Has TR HACKED Metal Sludge and has brought this very important info to light?
Isabel, well you asked for it, so... You are a NEW MOTHER WITH AN INFANT AT HOME.
Reality Check for Isabel:
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CONSTANTLY ON THIS BLOG FAVORABLY WRITING ABOUT AN ALCOHOLIC & EX-JUNKIE? Do you not have anything else in your life like breastfeeding, taking walks, sleeping, changing nappies, cleaning house, cooking, taking care of hubby, learning a new hobby, etc. ALL more productive than sucking TR's limp dick on this blog. I think you are a bad mother cause you should focus your attention on your infant instead of finding out which hooker TR is currently fucking.
You think I am being unkind but I am not. You women did not respect yourself and waste way too much time following piece of shit Reznor who has bitched about you (i.e., FANS)!
As for NIN fans being annoying - welcome to the fucking real world. Get yourself a job flipping burgers and you will learn in 3 seconds how annoying the public can be. Almost all musicians do not expect their fans to be perfect people. Yet, corporate made Reznor still cries at the slightest insult and rewrites his own history. This blog props up his ass regardless of how sick his behavior has become.
Oh GAWD, Anonymous, who the fuck cares? I am seriously so over it, but not because of Trent's tantrums and rants--that's par for the course--but because of Anonymi like YOU and all your self-righteous blah, blah, blah.
And I wouldn't even acknowledge your verbal diarrhea, except you need to lay off Isabel. She comments like maybe once or twice a day on here. Hardly any reason to call the UK's version of Child Services. Piss off!
Thanks Maise, but anonymous has shot herself in the foot by making comments like 'taking care of hubby' - what are you a 1950s anonymii? Oh it's 7.30am, baby and husband are still asleep and I'm about to log in to work since this person is so interested!
My favorite thing about the anonymi is the way they're all, "I'm going to attack you PERSONALLY...mwa ha ha ha ha!", and of course they know nothing of our personal lives. Fairly amusing.
Oh! Hatemail! I love it soooo much!
Brings back memories of the good ol' days!
Well, I've had time to read the hatemail, and let me say this to Anonymous: I don't care if Trent Reznor is the biggest whining baby on the planet: he's not my father, my brother, my lover, my husband, my employee or my dog. I have no connection to him, other than that I have really and truly loved his work of art for many years.
Personally, I think he is way too reactive and bitchy, and he always has been, but then again, he wouldn't ever have written a song like "Terrible Lie" if he wasn't, well, the kind of guy who takes it into his head to feel that God owes him an apology. WHo he is is part and parcel of his work, which I love.
No amount of par-for-the-course bitching that he has recenly done or might do in the future, changes a thing about his contribution to my life as an artist, and based on that contribution, even if he is the biggest bitch on earth, I still wish him joy and happiness in whatever he chooses to do with himself. I'm not sarcastic, and I'm not stupid.
Here's what's stupid: telling people you don't know what it wrong with them.
**Hey there - I thought I would share what's making the rounds with the low esteem girls here**
Taken from Metal Sludge Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:43 am - (Filamina is strongly believed to be Mariqueen)
Posted by filamina Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 11:52 am Posts: 5
You love every tweet, photo, message...it gives you some sort of purpose.
Stop obsessing over someone you'll never know;
you'll be much happier.
Life is short, why not live it?
If the people you talk about are crap then why concern yourself?
Every ounce of energy you exert on them gives them more power.
Concern yourself with something more than the whims of celebrities--
your self-esteem and self-awareness will grow exponentially.
Posted by Sludger:
Filamina *cough* Mariqueen, go spread your legs w/the $1000 Prada shoes elsewhere and stop trolling this thread and take dirty old bastard with you. We are only interested in dingdongs on this thread. You can stay if you whip out your dingdong and we all know you are dying to show it off. If you prefer, you could post your dingdong on your facebook page or you could tweet a photo of it next to the food plates you post. Better yet, direct us to the porno video everyone is talking about.
If I was you, I would be more concerned with the posters on the Insider & Wave Goodbye Forum who are organized and writing letters to TV, Film makers, and animal rights groups about you and dirty old bastard. Who knew the Insider would turn out to be the hip online place to hang out? We here on MS like our dingdongs and are too lazy "plump & unattractive" to organize. Q, you never had any self-esteem nor self-awareness to grow exponentially or you would have never done Playboy for free, done a porno video, had boyfriends post blow jobs & titty sucking photos, and drugs/alcohol/cigs. Now, whip it out or go away!
http://www.theinsider.com/news/2102311_Trent_Reznor_and_Mariqueen_Maandig_Are_Engaged#comments
I forgot the Mexican Anti-Defamation League the Insiders are contacting too with your tweeted racial slurs. If you are concerned with the size of your dingdong, just show it and we will be kind. We already know fatso's size *cough* and well, we are sure that yours is bigger.
Well, that sounds like an intellectually stimulating and fulfilling conversation.
What I don't understand about the anonymii is that if they are right and MQ is the gold-digger evil 'going to dump Trent and take all his money' person they all claim she is, isn't that better for them in the long run as some terrible trauma for Trent means some great music for the rest of us, so if they think this is so, why don't they let well alone and just let things play their course?? I think he was going on a break before this all happened. I'm not such a callous person generally but I'm just trying to get 'in the mind' of the anonymii and work them out
Sorry I've been missing, but I took Anonymous' advice and got a job flipping burgers. I also got a few grease burns and some wicked acne, but s/he is right - people ARE annoying! REALLY ANNOYING!
It took me a little longer than 3 seconds to figure that out, since flipping burgers doesn't bring you into direct contact with the public, but within about 15 minutes, I was all like, "Hell no, they can pick the M-F'ing pickles off themselves!" and spitting on the burgers before I put the cheese on and stuff like that.
What did I miss?
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