Sunday, May 17, 2009

Happy Birthday, Trent!

It's not a Places Parallel greeting card without some homemade haikus!

Happy birthday, Trent!
You're finally forty-four.
Our boy's all grown up.

I would have written
these sooner, but it was a
beautiful day out.

Cause contrary to
popular belief, I do
have a life. Sorta.

But YOU'RE the birthday
boy, so we take a moment
to celebrate you.

We hope you've had an
awesome day, free of any
inconvenience.

We hope your minions
bought you some decent presents.
No Coldplay bullshit.

We hope your Twitter
was filled to capacity
with tweets of much love.

Are you in Vegas
or something? You could go see
some Cirque du Soleil.

Or maybe you could
have a spa day! You know, like
a manly spa day.

Hope your fiancee
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah barf.

Anyway, I just
want to extend some happy
wishes your way, Trent.

I'm sure Iris will
photoshop something awesome
when she gets the chance.

All comments in this
thread must be in haiku, or
they face deletion.

20 comments:

  1. Happy birthday, Trent.
    My birthday is in ten days.
    (The age is in "Wish.")

    Rob, I hear, called you
    a butt pirate. Please don't kick
    his ass for that joke.

    As usual, Maise,
    love the haiku. Glad to see
    you on Twitter, too.

    The stanza re:
    She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named is
    spot-on, yet tactful.

    Iris better fire
    up her compy and get to
    'shoppin', already!

    ReplyDelete
  2. No photoshopping
    for me anytime soon. Not
    even TR's "soon".

    My computer has
    gone wonky & I haven't
    the fixing know-how.

    So happy birthday,
    Trent. May your midlife crisis
    pass swiftly. Umm...yeah.

    Sorry guys. I'm just
    lacking inspiration. It's
    been a long weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Iris! This news is
    devastating. Time to throw
    your Vaio away.

    I was hoping that
    your issues would be resolved
    already. But no.

    Is your computer
    completely kaputt? What will
    become of our chats?

    I had an upset
    stomach tonight. I'm glad that
    it has settled down.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ugh! These damn haikus
    Just got a surprise email
    From Eric Gaffney!

    He's interested
    In doing another show
    Here at my venue

    Though there is a chance
    That my second protege
    And I will present.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JR you are lame
    Stop saying protege, NOW!
    else, deletion comes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. She says protege
    and I always think of car
    commercials. Zoom, zoom.

    ReplyDelete
  7. DA, I'm sorry,
    This haiku format is tough
    That's why "protege"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe I could have
    Said "subordinate" or "men-
    tee"; they're just as bad!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had the weirdest
    dream about Metallica.
    Ro and Iris and

    I were backstage at
    a concert being held at
    a mall. James Hetfield

    made some comment re:
    being more comfortable,
    and I asked him if

    he normally wears
    spandex, and he replied, in
    all seriousness

    that he did not have
    spandex in enough colors.
    Metallica was

    also dissing Nine
    Inch Nails, saying that Trent's last few albums weren't

    good. But I have to
    say that the Metallica
    guys seemed nice enough.

    For some reason, the
    spacing on my haikus is
    messing up. But be

    assured, my counting
    of haiku syllables on
    my fingers is sound.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Trent will you please not,
    Give haters the oxygen
    of publicity

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am bored as hell
    waiting in a two hour queue
    to donate my blood

    It is my worry
    they will not stop draining me
    I will be a husk

    ReplyDelete
  12. Never before has
    having too much to drink and
    slapping felt so good.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous was
    deleted because that shit
    wasn't in haiku.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Heh heh. Thanks to Trent's
    good deed of the day, he'll get
    haiku in-person.

    ReplyDelete
  15. maise do you mean that
    you have paid to help this per-
    son called Eric out?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Places Parallel
    is coming to the rescue.
    We are getting psyched

    up for what will most
    likely be the single most
    awkward encounter

    with a rock star in
    our lives, and we'll document
    it all for you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ?????
    ???????
    ?????

    ReplyDelete
  18. http://store.nin.com/helperic/

    ReplyDelete
  19. wow that is really
    exciting, I'm psyched for you
    now what will you say?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I don't think I would
    want to risk finding out that
    trent was just a twat

    i love the music
    too much and finding this out
    would ruin it for me

    ReplyDelete